When One is No Longer

When I think of you
as indeed, I do often ..
You feel
so very much alive ..
But then,
you are no longer ..
And so,
when I try to think
of you harder ..
As indeed, I so want
to do ..
You are no more
the carefree
young woman, I once
used to know ..
But rather the ghost
of all those
women I have ever wanted ..