Saying Goodbye

I think we
are taught
that at some point
in the grieving process
we are obligated 
to say goodbye

this is what society
has taught  us to do

Psychologists and grief counselors
whisper these words
into their sessions

Defiance
though
has always 
been a badge 
of honor
to me

when I was 6 
I was often 
corrected by 
 family  on
the correct way
to pronounce
certain words

my reply was 

" same thing"

At 58
my kids 
now correct my pronunciation
taking over
from those of my youth

"same thing"
is  and always will be my reply

Words are personal
the way we say them
the way we own
them
the way we feel them

I won't concede
in saying 
GOODBYE

I won't do it
I will not
make it real 

and
if you say 
"Whether you
speak the words
or 
not 
the loss 
 is still real"

My reply
is
"does not 
matter
not the same thing"

the word
is my expression
and I am not
going to 
surrender