An birthday greeting to my eldest sister that went awry...

to those gals named Amélie (means "industrious" or "hardworking," derived from the Germanic name Amalia, which French variant of Amelia and gained popularity in English-speaking countries following the 2001 French film Amélie).

Astride the oblate spheroid
sixty eight years
trying your darnedest
both "darndest" and "darnedest"
acceptable spellings,
with "darnedest" being
the more common spelling
and "darndest" being
an alternative spelling
both informal and used
as a euphemism
(a mild or indirect word or expression
substituted for one considered
to be too harsh or blunt)
when referring to something
unpleasant or embarrassing,
and they share the same meaning
to escape weltschmerz
(a feeling of melancholy
and world-weariness)
perhaps weeping woeful tears
witnessing evisceration
(the removal of internal -
or viscera, from a body),
in this figurative case
vital political organs,
a formal, established institution
within a government
or international body
that performs a specific set of functions
related to governance
and public administration
(a process also known
as disembowelment)
of these United States
Puritan pride and prejudice
and now vainglory dictator wannabe
decimating, humiliating and interrogating
vitally linkedin bastions
of hard fought defenses
against antithetical, heretical,
and piratical forces
witness unvoiced unanswered prayers.

I did not necessarily mean
to start your birthday poem this way
yet fingers of mine
typed of their own volition
overshadowed by apocalypse courtesy today
no need to mention and trumpet
the commander in chief by name
an embarrassment cause célèbre
(a controversial issue or individual
that generates a great deal of public attention)
though proletariat look quite fetching
a sea of heads
turned prematurely gray
wharf fare tariff taxing all goods at quay
despite those men
and women with foresight
who placed hair color products on layaway.

How trivial such an issue
rooted with premium against looking auld
even those who met their demise
with flesh gone cold
bewigged to match when in their prime
once upon a time golden locks extolled,
now tresses would be worth
more than fine spun gold.

Truths once held to be self evident
such as life, liberty
and the pursuit of happiness
now relegated to the dustbin of history,
where freedoms
once taken for granted
before the implementation of Project 2025
translated into rule by diktat and fiat,
issued courtesy autocrat,
whose distribution of surveillance
courtesy platoons of military police
as well as listening devices
and hidden cameras
innocuously planted among
swathes of flowers
and trees sitting pretty
anonymously infiltrated vis a vis decoys
such as hashtagged
flora and fauna in general
in the offbeat chance
vocalization against the regime expressed
courtesy some wiseacre
even whether spoken jests
or written bon mots
delivered as bland screeds,
who so much as dares
to critique or worse yet
rage against the machine,
the self declared
omnipotent singular despot
dons his person with armor
and surrounded by high tech trappings
tricked out with artificial intelligent
resembling knights of yore
scrutinizing the solitudinarian
or feigned motley ragtag crew
casually seeking a well heeled pawn
to attend and occupy role of bishopric
think emperor with new clothes
out for a daily constitutional
well armed as he temporarily
exits his castle keep
stage door left
attended at all times with a cadre
of secret service men and women
trumpets his arbitrary
independent declarations
analogous to a marionette
videlicet master of puppets
and pastor of muppets
entertainment for the proletariat
cause anyone found
uttering spontaneous ejaculations
or seemingly pablum
verboten and taboo
immediately triggering
gun slinging bullet headed troops
to appear out of nowhere
and impose forceful restraint.
Every movement choreographed
like a well organized performance
where all the world a stage
and all's well that ends well
only in the utopian realm.