Circles

I just keep going around in circles
Losing myself against invisible lines and twirls
This mental war against myself, I didn’t declare
Your own mind can be so unfair
How can I run with away with the wind
When I keep going around in pointless circles
The sun is shining but not on me
For I’m in a darkened emotional sea
I keep on trying to jump, I keep on trying to fly
But there’s nowhere to go, I can’t reach the sky
Circles and circles, they just continue to grow
To get out of this mental battle, how far am I willing to go?
Will I take the right path? Will I become lost?
What am I willing to give up, and at what cost?
It’s a continuous fight against myself in this world
I’m trying my best but in this world, I’m only one girl
Trying to chase a dream that can’t be real
I’m forced to hide my feelings, forced to keep my lips sealed
I’m scared of losing any reason to stay alive
For I see a six foot plot, it’s so tempting to give up and dive
But is it really my time yet? I haven’t paid off all of my debt
Circles, these bloody circles, I’m losing hope, I’m losing faith
I’m just sitting in the middle of this horrifying sea
The shadows surrounding are trying to consume me
Circles circles circles, please just let me go
When I open my eyes, I realize, There’s no on else here though
So I’m reckoned with disbelief, dishonesty, distrust
These circles are taking everything away from me in disgust
All I want to do is be set completely free
But these mental circles just won’t let be me, they just won’t let me be… free

Stephanie Davis
May 2021