Dismal Cloud

A cloud of dismay has fallen over my head.
Dismay and regret wrap around my head.
My cried are lost in the screams in my head.
Sorrow fills my lungs as I try to remember what life was like before.
Was it as it seemed? Something soft or was it soaked in pain?
Was anything ever good?
Or have I lived in this cloud far too long.
It comes in waves.
It's paves its through my brain until I think of nothing else.
Cold winter nights are nothing compared to the cold nights I have everyday without hesitation.
The thought of a happy life eats at my soul.
I know what I want, but I'm too weak to fight any longer.
Tell me, how do ask for help when the sorrow fills your lungs?
How do you speak when you feel your a burden talking about nothing but pain?
Crying used to help.
Now it's just wasted noise drowned out by the screams in my head.
Why is it so loud?
I'v forgotten what quiets like.
Tell me, do you cry yourself to sleep?
Tell me,have you ever wanted to die?