Generically Depressed

Along the left side of my soul

I am torn beyond recognition;

Ripped and twisted and slowly decomposing.

My tears flow in silent meaningless rushes of tide

like backyard rivers in a thunderstorm;

neither massive nor much noticed.

Memory is packed too full;

the good memories tangled with bad

and all coated with the red clay of home

that serves to confuse what is recent .

Pouting doesn’t suit me well anymore;

not a moody young willow but faded, jaded,

fatigue visible like vines that hang and wilt in the sun.

Roots destructively grown

into the mortar between stones;

Roots destructively formed within these bones.

Without the good grace to go insane

nor the fragility to be darkly, deeply depressed;

I am only tired

and rusted with destructive thoughts

that will never help nor hinder anyone.

Leaning forward against the wind

I take comfort in the warmth of summer’s rains,

And pray foul ashes and dirt will soon enough blend.

© 2009 C. Harter Amos