How Do I Live With Myself

All this good prevailing front,
Masks,
A disguise wrapping lies.
Time heals but time also hurts,
The longer hidden truths dangle,
Vulnerable unveiling patiently lurks.
Goodness might grip,
Outside of the heart,
Never touching what can seep in the middle,
Harboring the dark.
What started these unforgivable acts of sin,
Setting fourth a long line of sinning to begin.
Deeds done are thought of,
As no big deal,
The longer I get away with,
Karma spins the giant wheel.
Forgiveness can be given,
If I was just to ask,
But I hate the feeling of disappointment,
Can't forgive myself let alone,
Perform the apology task.
It's emptiness bringing me desire,
To perform these acts,
A curse I learn might never let be,
I've long since stopped shaking my head,
And have accepted the facts,
That this.........
Is just me.