Jonah and the whale revamped 2016 version

Jonah was a funny chap 
Dressed in jeans and bowler hat
Some may even say he looked a twat 
Dressed in his jeans and bowler hat 

Jonah had a lovely boat 
Built from the ground up
Made from solid oak 
Made sturdy, made to float
He was sure he built his boat to float

On this now sunny day
Jonah chose to sail his boat 
Proving to disbelievers his boat would float 
Dressed on deck in a nice fur coat
Proved to his friends his boat would float 

He took his boat far out to sea 
So far out he couldn’t see no land 
Just the waves that hid the sand

Suddenly the sky went black 
Followed my an almighty crack
Lightning then lit up the sky  
Jonah, wiped his salty eyes 
Watching as the sky did cry 

The waves rose up like Trojan horses 
Filled his boat and flipped it over 
Jonah swam for all he was worth 
Arms got tired 
He cursed and cursed 
“Damn me, damn this silly boat, 
I had to prove my boat could float” 

Suddenly something catches his eye 
A large shadow then races by
Followed my an almighty splash 
A whale’s tale there then did splash 
Catches poor old Jonah’s head 
Leaves him with a nasty gash 

Jonah fears for his life 
He didn’t even kiss his wife goodbye 
He really wanted to be in his bed 
“Anywhere but here” he said  

The whale then swallows Jonah up 
Swallows him down deep inside it’s gut 
Jonah finds himself in a rut 
Sits down and says 
“Shit, I’m stuck” 

Suddenly he remembers his phone 
Takes it out and dials back home 
His wife sends out a sos 
Saying, “Jonah’s boat didn’t stand the test 
He has been swallowed by a whale” 
The coast guard say “don’t worry” 
Then set sail  

After many hours at sea 
A humped back whale was spotted  at three 
It matched Jonah’s gps
Not far from where his boat didn’t pass the test 
so they drove the whale into the shallows 
picked it up then off  to the gallows 
cut it open and out popped Jonah 
this funny man with a great persona

The lifeboat men couldn’t believe their eyes 
and all on shore began to cry
Jonah was glad to see his wife 
Cuddled her then began to cry
turned around and gave all high fives 

Jonah said, “that stupid boat 
I was sure the stupid thing would float 
I was sure I made it strong from oak, 
I suppose you all would like to gloat?” 
As he stood there in his sodden fur coat

“No Jonah we are glad you are home 
You are lucky you had that mobile phone 
Enabled you to call your home 
Saved your life so did that phone 
We are so glad you’re safe at home