We live in the country, out in the sticks
And we share our house with mice
It’s not a problem, the cat has ticks
And all the kids have lice
But one thing really annoys me
Although our larder is rich in
Gorgonzola, Cheddar, and Brie
There are no mice in our kitchen
They're in the lounge and the red room
They climb the stairs, run along the landing
And scratch around in the bedroom
But I’m just not understanding
Why they don’t like our food
When they eat the neighbours alright
And I don’t mean to be rude
But the neighbour’s grub is shite
I bet your thinking, what's wrong with him?
Why does he make this fuss?
Who wants mice in their kitchen?
A mouse free kitchen is a plus
Well, don’t think I’m ungrateful
But I keep wondering why
The neighbour has a kitchenful
But ours are kitchen shy
I’ve tried tempting them with rice
Quality cheeses and pies to die for
But these fussy, finicky mice
Prefer the food next door
Dedicated to my beautiful friend, Gwenauld. The only cat I have loved. He did not hurt or kill anything, but my heart. RIP. I love you, Gwenauld.