Missing Stuff

Since moving to our brand new home

There's things I haven't found

Like my pair of pearly white dentures

And Dufus our basset hound

Still haven't located my tightie whities

People are holding their noses

Till I find 'em gonna use lots of cologne

And carry a bouquet of roses

Now certain things take top priority

Like oil for my artificial leg

The damn thing squeaks unmercifully

“FIND THAT OIL!” Cathie begs

The kitchen stuff's in the living room

We're sleeping out on the lawn

Neighbours are peering out their windows

Expecting some “goings on”!

All things considered we're doing fine

Minor inconveniences they are

We'll soon be sleeping in out of the rain

And be happy campers, by gar!