We don’t understand how tough it can be,
It’s exciting, the planning, guessing what will it be?
And then they announce the sex of your child,
Still cute and cuddly, so quiet and mild.
You arrive home as a strong new team,
With plans to be perfect, your faces still beam.
This baby won’t want for anything at all,
And will be strong, intelligent, healthy and tall,
As you’re not going to feed it anything ‘’BAD’’.
No sugar or salt and they won’t be sad,
They’ll understand it’s all for the best!!
But the first night arrives and you’re put to the test…..
This baby won’t sleep, somethings not right,
You’ve kissed it and fed it and cleaned up it’s sh***.
This is not what it looked like in those books you have read,
With Mammy and Daddy peacefully in bed.
Instead you are pacing until four in the morning,
And finally it sleeps and you can’t stop yawning,
You’re relieved they have settled and lay them in their cot,
Which cost you a fortune because the needed the lot,
The bumper, the sides, the duvet to match.
It all looks adorable but there is one little catch….
The baby, they hate it and won’t sleep alone,
You’re tired; they are grumpy and have started to moan.
How can it cry anymore in one night?
Is it hungry or tired? Is it too dark or too light?
You reach for the dummy, which is the first of your fails,
You didn’t want to buy it, it was just in the sales!!
All of a sudden you’re not No.1 Mammy,
She wouldn’t use the bad devils dummy.
It’s finally gave in and is asleep on your chest,
You didn’t mean to sleep you just needed the rest.
That’s fail Number 2, you have fallen asleep with your child,
This was not in the plans which you and he filed.
And of course in the morning he wakes up bright.
You take one look at him and feel like a fight.
‘’had a nice night, while I was awake?’’
‘’your baby was crying while your sleep was all fake!’’
You know in your heart he is trying his best,
But you have to blame someone for failing the test.
One day you feel brave and attend your first group.
It’s full of new mams who sound like hens in a coop.
You think that these mams will understand your great struggle,
But instead they insist on letting you into their bubble,
They seem to have it all down to a tee…….
‘’last feed before bed and just one more at three!!’’
‘’straight back to sleep and no more until six!’’
You instantly feel you should be learning their tricks.
But how do they know just what to do?
And why do you feel they are all staring at you?
You take one more look and see that they are all trying,
It’s now that you realise each one of them is lying!
There’s no No.1 mam and everyone is guessing,
Everyone is studying so hard for this lesson,
So let’s not ask google or demand worded proof,
Let’s just be honest and all tell the truth.
It is hard enough with a new life to look after,
But you know that its right when you hear their laughter.
Relax and enjoy it and don’t try to compete,
Because someone is always there to tell you ‘you’re beat’.
Do what you think, don’t always stick to the rules,
As babies don’t come with instructions or tools.
But if we all pitch in and be truthful to others,
There is more chance these babies will have sisters and brothers.
Let’s not judge if they are on the bottle or breast,
Or use dummies, suck thumbs or use parents for rest.
No mam is perfect and no babies are the same,
We all try not to fail the parenting game.
If nobody picks faults I think we will see,
There is no "Number 1 Mam" but we could be as close as can be.