Poem -

Old Habits Stay True

Clouds descend
Painted black 
A bearded man appears
Carrying a heavy sack
Crouching down
Grimacing from his aching back
Being a long time
Staggering down the track

From the dark shadows
A fine moustached man
appears
Smiling devilishly 
Resembling a musketeer
Dressed extravagantly
Seemingly not aged for years
An intimidating sort
The kind the bearded man fears

Reaching for his sack
He feels a stomp on his hand
Squeling with pain
Too feeble to withstand
His constant struggle
Living in this land
For the prosperous 
Are always in command

 

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Comments

author
sparrowsong

Hello Keith...

Everything that goes up eventually, comes down?

Great write!

Thank you for sharing...

Hugs...

sparrowsong

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author
Tina

There is so much imagery in this poem, Keith. So very well written.

Tina x

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author
Keith Fitzsimons

Thank you Tina, not sure if people will get the whole picture, but hopefully they enjoy anyway!

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author
Lucy Parsons

Keith this is a powerful message between the poor and the more fortunate. I want to help this guy stand back on his feet. Great imagery, fab scene setting and just bloody good xxx❤️❤️

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author
Keith Fitzsimons

Thank you!!
I wanted to paint a picture of the control the wealthy/powerful have over the rest.
That heavy sack represents the struggles that the not so fortunate carry with them through life.

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author
charlotte

hello keith , i love this , i love how yu brought in two different men , one with a beard and one with a moustache . i like how you used the sack to describe his struggles. the muskateer sounds a little pompous and smug if you don't mind me saying and i feel sorry for the guy with the beard, i bet he is the nicer one lol

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author
Keith Fitzsimons

Haha yeah that's one of the points, the guy represent that smugness too.

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author
charlotte

can i just point out .. a slight error in your spelling , you wrote intimating instead of '' intimidating ''

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author
Cherie Sumner

Hi Keith.  Great metaphorical poem that represents oppression and the system keeping the man down...lol..and in this case the man carrying the sack being the unfortunate portrayed.....Ouch!  lol  Keep 'em coming! xo

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