one breath two

I want to feel that rush again that amazing intoxication i get from it i just want the pain to go away.but i no longer have that ability so i grit my teeth and try to breath. 1 breath Two its just starting to feel like no use. Why am i here. What is the purpose. Everyone is fighting their own demons. I cant shake mine and i dont know the reason. So i sit against a locked door. With tears falling that are still sore. Then you cross my mind and i let out a silent cry. If i do it ill only hurt you so 1 breath two.