Open Mic

I'm drained. Only because I put so much energy on pleasing the people who ran out on me. What's wrong with me? In today's life girl's I took a shot at in my earlier days telling me they wanted me. Another lie. Yet another day in my life that seems pass by. My birthday October 11, to you on yours it's special you celebrate. To me on my day it's my family I'm with which I've grown to hate. No offense but if I could build a electric fence and draw them out I could be happy for once. Cause what I get alot is that "you gotta make yourself happy before you give it unto someone else". And I get that don't get me wrong. I feel better if my life would just go along. Or get along. No decrescendo but my life gets lower as the song goes on. Let that be noted. I'm holding on to something. Let me hang I bet I won't go down for nothing. Living life like it was stolen. No such thing. Depression creeps upon me to cure it there's no such fantasy or dream. Im drinking on a verb, It always makes me lean. This stripper need a producer, she made the greatest scene. This ain't a lyric video, I  don't like my words played on screen. My life's a work of art and a horror movie you take one look and scream. See in my time I took alot of punches. But I learned to roll with'em, move my head a way. You take a punch, it could barely grazed and you'll get dazed. But you should have known this baby boy was gonna get it shaking in the crib, they threw a rattle in his cage. 

Maybe this new me ain't as good the old. I feel withered down. Stormy life wether it's summer or not the rain still coming on. But i got it  together cause storms don't last for long. it's like that old song I can see clearly now that the rain is gone. I think I made up a new saying. "Love is just a weak ass emotion and a dumb ass expression". Just some shit I live by. May not be the truth to you but I'm the living proof in my eyes. There I believe I could find what I'm looking for. Here I find lies. Walk through the sharp and invisible fine lines. See if they tear you apart. Hopefully you find a way through. What am I making a way to? Feeling like a tree, death to my leaves, I'm barking on a break through. How I mask my anger who are you to judge. Just know that I don't hold a grudge. I just remember what you've done. Though I may have gotten past it I wouldn't put it past you to redo what you've already done. I'm done. My body ain't built for a temple but I rather live my life on the run. From my monsters. One is what has become of my love life, how will it be? Cause I just had a dream that seemed to be clear to me. I had a dream that I was running from the police. But I stopped by my best friend house to blow off steam. I saw her in the shower and I couldn't help but join her. We fucked and I cuddled up under her. But the next morning I felt so disappointed. My ex was there and saw her nephews, I was excited to. But then I thought why she here, she was never invited to. But I said fuck it and thought I'd get a kiss from my best friend but then my ex bust in and said I can't cause they related. Then the cops bust through, I ran again but I wasn't fast enough because of they shock on my face, I got caught. That's when I woke up feeling distraught. I guess single life is like jail how long will I rot?