Sad Reality

Mental health 
your brains gravity 
When it’s missing 
your mind is gone 
Outer space
in orbit rotating 
Thoughts of self hate 
afraid to be yourself 
Always trying to be 
someone everyone 
wants you to become 
So you fit in 
where you can 
get in 
That’s no life 
for someone 
Where’s the self-love 
a foundation of self-worth 
you can build from 
Lost in translation 
your subconscious speaking 
a dangerous language 
Crowded contradiction 
mixed with clouded values 
Not aware of the disarray 
because your whole life 
you have been this way 
Born a star shinning bright 
with each day and night 
they took the sparkle 
little by little out of your eyes 
and every year 
you began to fade 
until now and it seems the dream became a nightmare and your faded all the way away from anything that resembles back in the day when you felt okay but now you don’t and won’t ever, it seems no matter the whispers you hear of a different pattern waiting for you to jump ship to but out of fear you’ll drown , you remain stuck abroad a battling one knowing you can fight just fine all the hits and adjectives you’ve taken to the flesh and ears both relaying to the heart your worthless,  still hasn’t broken you yet so why chase a possible outcome that might lead to positive change or it could cost you your life but isn’t your life costing you yourself and then the doubt kicks in , the door is wide open and that scares the hell out of you being vulnerable so you quickly slam it closed and put the chain and bolt through the receiver as you twist and turn the deadbolt and lock on the doorknob , falling to the floor sitting Indian style against it with your head down this is where you feel the most comfortable but yet there’s a whole world out there but it doesn’t matter because regardless your heart and passion your mind can’t just fathom the fear of loss for hope to gain your a train wreck and it’s not your fault but damn it you must deal with it because the real culprits don’t give two shits about the mental warfare they started and left you to handle but you aren’t willing to grasp it , your mind can’t wrap around what needs to be done you keep questioning every thought that might lead to somewhere more positive , the bad always outweighing the good so you justify staying the same and remaining a pawn in the victims chess game serving a life sentence of giving into a past that is behind you and forgetting about the future ahead of you out of fear of your own thoughts ....... lost.... hurt ... insecure..... bitter... mad....angry....unworthy...sad...decided....undecided...can’t make up your mind , hostage to comfort of bad patterns not realizing a whole other side to this dark spectrum , not understanding why , not realizing a change necessary to carry the burdens and discard them, but you keep giving up on yourself as a result of lack of confidence , why do these feelings always work against you , you ask yourself . Does anyone care and the answer is never as much as you do about yourself so why won’t you quit giving up and give in , why keep sitting head down in the comfort of your sorrow dreaming for tomorrow to come and it be different knowing you’ve remained the same versus standing tall , head up and taking today and making it your own so tomorrow will follow today’s lead and today’s grief tomorrow becomes yesterday’s pathetic sad story and tomorrow marks the beginning of the new chapter filled with battles and disasters but as a result of the pursuit to laughter and happiness , so get up off your ass and quit feeling sorry for yourself and make today’s problems tomorrow’s yesterday’s and tomorrow’s story a happier one than today’s 
or NOT , it’s only
YOUR CHOICE TO MAKE !