Poem -

Sonnet Zero

Final Draft

Sonnet Zero

He promised moonbeams, stars and rain each day
She promised love, the Earth and all the stars.
He cherished work and football, God and buffets.
She welcomed love, this life of family, Mars.

He fished bass and carp each Sunday night.
She danced, sung and nurtured children, Moon.
He cooked fish for friends, drank the fight.
She cooked vegan, she cooked Italian food.

His telescope, captured, Moon and Pluto.
Her canvas, her smile, her loving nature.
His behavior bold yet calm, the Waiting Duo.
Her sights were kept on Blackboard Education, Teacher.

Our marriage lasted twenty-five great years.  
Our home became a place of Love and Tears.

DRAFT #4. 
Sonnet Zero 
Quatrain #1.

 u        /       u       /          u              /        u       /       u          / 
He PROMised MOONbeams, STARS and RAIN each DAY. (A).
 u         /      u         /        u        /         u       /      u      /   
She PROMised LOVE, the EARTH and ALL the STARS. (B).
 u          /     u          /         u        /      u       /       u        /     u 
He CHERished WORK  and FOOTball GOD and BUFFets (A).
 u        /        u        /            u      /      u     /    u        / 
She WELcomed LOVE, this LIFE  of FAMily, MARS. (B).

Quatrain #2.

u       /    u       /      u          /       u        /    u         /
He FISHed BASS and CARP each SUNday NIGHT. (C).
 u         /      u        /       u        /      u          /        u     /
She DANCed, SUNG and NURTured CHILDren, Moon (D).
 u        /      u      /     u      /        u           /      u    /
He  COOKed FISH for FRIENDs, DRANK the Fight. (C).
  u         /    u           /         u       /     u        /      u       /
She COOKed VEGAN, she COOKed ITTALian FOOD. (D).

Quatrain #3.
 
u           /     u           /     u          /        u      /  
His  TELEscope, CAPtured, MOON and PLUTO. (E).
   u             /         u      /          u       /     u    /    u      
Her CANVASE, her SMILE, her  LOVing NATure. (F).
u        /    u           /      u     /         u        /     u       /
His Behavior BOLD  yet CALM, the  WAITing DUO. (E).
  u        /           u         /      u        /        u         /    u (u)        /    (u)
Her SIGHTS were  KEPT on BLACKboard EDUcation, TEACHer (F).

Heroic Couplet
    u        /    u      /      u     /     u    /        u          /
Our MARIage LASTed twenty-FIVE great YEARS (G).
   u        /       u      /     u     /          u   /         u       /
Our HOME  beCAME a PLACE of LOVE and TEARS (G).

POETRY WIZARDS
CHEAT SHEET 
Links I've used and shared while learning how to write in iambic-pentameter. 

https://www.englishclub.com/pronunciation/word-stress-rules.htm
https://www.really-learn-english.com/word-stress.html#1
https://linguapress.com/grammar/word-stress.htm
https://purlandtraining.com/free-lessons/elementary-english-course/unit-1-0-learning-english/lesson-1-7-word-stress/
https://www.merriam-webster.com/words-at-play/spelling-using-compound-words-guide/the-unit-modifier
https://linguapress.com/grammar/word-stress.htm
https://mammothmemory.net/english/literature/poetry-feet-and-metres/iambic-heptameter.html

Draft #4

she gave him three daughters and one son. (D).
He gave her roses hoping she would stay. (C).
She took the children to the park for fun. (D),

His relationship with his wife and son was flawed. (E).
Her days were filled with love of family. (F).
His new found commitment was with God. (E).
Her obsessive ways cost them financially. (F).

   u     u  /   u     u    u   
Our marriage was full of joy and some tears. (G).
  U        /   u     
Our marriage lasted twenty-five long years. (G).

financially
uncannily
handily
botanically
irrationally
vanity
sanity
substantially
rationally
frantically

They were married for twenty-five long years. (G).
u       /      u       /     u     /   u      /    u      / (G).
Our marriage filled with love throughout the years.
She cooked old fashioned recipes each night.
He took her by the hand to their bedroom
She
He gazed lovingly into his first son’s blue green eyes
She
She understood why he worked out of town
  u       /    u      /       /    u      /   u       /    u
She

He kissed her passionately
________________________________________________
SONNET ZERO 
Draft #3. 
He promised her the sun, the moon and rain. (A).
She promised him the Earth and all the stars. (B).
He worked long hours without much complaint. (A).
She cleaned, she cooked, she promised him Mars. (B).

He cherished her artistic ways each day. (C).
she gave to him three daughters and one son. (D).
He gave her roses hoping she would stay. (C).
She took the children to the park for fun. (D),

His relationship with his wife and son was flawed. (E).
Her days were filled with love of family. (F).
His new found commitment was with God. (E).
Her obsessive ways cost them financially. (F).

Our marriage was full of joy and some tears. (G).
Our marriage lasted twenty-five long years. (G).

Draft three is a work in progress. 
Now that I know where the story goes from here. 
I have to make each line in iambic pentameter. 

So, Draft #4 -- Coming soon (I hope!) 

--------------------------------------------
DRAFT #2. 
SONNET ZERO 

Quatrain #1.

u       /    u    /        /         u        /    u      /    u     /
He worked long hours which took him out of state
 u        /         u       /     u        /    u     /      /
She cooked old- fashioned recipes each day
 u      /       u        /    u    u   u  /
He came from Norway in 1958.
 u       /       u    /       u     /     u    /  u  /
She knew his love was hard to calculate.

Quatrain #2.
u      /             /   u      u       /            /
He watched football each Sunday night
  u     /      u         /   u    /   u       /     u       /
She Lovingly cooked various pies and cakes
 u       /     u     u   u        /      u       /       u    /
He promised her the world and moon and rain.
  u    /   u      u   u   u    /   u     /     /
She forgave his oh so flirtatious ways

Quatrain #3.

u        /    u      /      u     /     u    /    u       /
Her pretty smile and ambient country charm
u       /         u  /   u     u      u      /        /      /
His cancer diagnosis from the doctor last May.
u        /    u      /      u     /     u    /    u       /
Her talents in the kitchen were so fair
 u    u    /   u     u      /       u     u      /       /
His demeanor was more than she could take
 
Heroic Couplet

u       /      u       /     u     /   u      /    u      / 
Our marriage lasted twenty-five long years
u        /      u    /     u   /       u     /      u     /
Our home became a place for love and war.

-----------------------------------------------------
NOTES:
I'm taking everyone on the journey with me. 
I'm still learning how to write in iambic pentameter. 
Watch for Draft #3! 
---------------------------------------------------------
Draft #1 
SONNET ZERO 

Step 1: Getting the theme down on paper. 

I Do.

He gave to her the box and ring inside.
She smiled joyfully welcoming this new life.
He made hard promises and worked very late.
She bought new lines and pots and pans to bake.

His eyes filled up with tears, it is a boy.
Her hands still swollen after childbirth he saw.
His commitment to his wife and son was flawed.
Her boxes all stacked neatly by the door.

They dreamt all the days and night as one.
They kissed and held each other one last time.
They hurried their son Jack to school for fun.
They returned back home to make a surprise.

Our first night as husband and wife in a bed.
Our last night as husband and wife on the floor.

 

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Comments

author
Tony Taylor

Hey KATINA!!!
In a long marriage..... the home becomes the battlefield at times and the happy garden for bliss and understanding at others!!......VERY well conveyed dear poet sister!!....... and broken down beautifully for those who haven't had the chance to look up the rhyme scheme for a sonnet before...... You are a pleasure to read my friend!!.......ALL STARS!!......LOVE & ROCKETS!!........T xo.  : )

Reply
author
Katina Woodruff...

Thank you Tony. I was hesitant in posting the poem in draft form. I began working on learning iambic petameter a few months back. I have a way to go to know how to scan a poem for the rhyme scheme. I'll post the finished sonnet when I'm finally finished. I appreciate all the reviews. I'm having so much fun here at Cosmonnel. It's been a valuable journey so far. 

Reply
author
Katina Woodruff...

I went ahead an added Draft #1, below Draft #2. The third draft, I'll be using the correct end rhyme. This could take a while. It took two weeks to write the second draft. I'm getting the hang of where to place the stress in multiple syllable words. However, my memory issue and word retrieval is weak. So, I have begun word list with endings such as, ly, ian, ious, ee, and so on to help boost productivity. Hope you return to read the third draft. Thank you for all the reviews. Since being a member at Cosmofunnel, my productivity level and excitement has increased ten-fold. 

Reply
author
Jill Tait

Very impressive Katina my love ❤️❤️❤️

Reply
author
Katina Woodruff...

Thank you, Jill. It's a work in progress. You should have saw the first draft, I was just getting the story down. It was a tragedy the first draft, then I decided to make it a love story. Ah...I cannot wait until I am writing meter with ease. For now, it's a learning process. The only writing course I didn't take in college was a poetry class. I studied creative nonfiction, fiction, theatre/writing, screenplays and dabbled in satire for a brief time. I want to concentrate fully on poetry. There are more than fifty styles of poetry, I plan on learning all of them in time. 

Have a wonderful day Jill. 
Oh, I found you a few pictures of a red squirrel I think you may like, to add to one of your narratives. I'll send you the image via, email.
 

Reply
author
Jill Tait

Thank you Katina loads ❤️❤️❤️

Reply
author
Cherie Leigh

HI Katina...I love sonnets....I have not seen this version of a sonnet where the last two lines do not rhyme....but I love the way you broke it all down in syllables and quatrains....Very cool. xo ;)  

Reply
author
Katina Woodruff...

Hi Cherie, 

This is just a 2nd draft. I'm still learning how to write in iambic petameter. The next draft, I'll be making the rhyme scheme to form a Shakespearian Sonnet, the form would be: ABAB CDCD EFEF GG. It's a huge work in progress. I think the hardest part is getting used to the rules and structure. I've always liked freestyle the most. 

Here is a great website that has audio versions of poetry available. More information on William Shakespeare can be found by clicking on the link below, or copy/past the URL into a Google web browser. 

Poetry Foundation 
https://www.poetryfoundation.org/learn/glossary-terms/shakespearean-sonnet

Many thanks for the review Cherie. It means a lot.
The final draft will hopefully be to form 😊
 

Reply
author
Larry Ran

My Dear Katina,

My poetic Soulmate Brother Tony Taylor, summed your beautiful poem up so perfectly, that I am inspired to give a Haiku as my response.

Our Lady Katina
Brings her prowess to Cosmo
Gaining fans quickly

All my love,
Larry xxx

Reply
author
Edward Williams

Wow i love the detali id love to see final copy with every ounce of imagination sublimination and phoneostetitcs you can muster lol

Reply
author
Angel

Nicely done angel

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