Poem -

That Night The Rain Came Down

Strange shadows danced in your eyes
That night the rain came down.
I saw the truth behind the lies
And wondered what I'd found.
I saw a different side of you,
Perhaps it was the rain,
Cool, calm, confidence untrue;
While I was racked with pain.
If all the world cried out
It wouldn't have stopped me then.
I had thought for a long time,
The question was, "When?"

I saw the gleaming, silver knife
As an end to all my pain.
For what you did I'd take your life
And be cleansed by all the rain.
I feared those shadows haunting me,
That night the rain came down,
I wanted revenge but could not see the danger I had found.
If you had dared to shout,
You wouldn't have stopped me then;
I had thought for a long time,
The question was, "When?"

I heard strange voices in the night,
Perhaps it was the rain.
I held the knife which led the fight,
This blade would ease my pain.
Shadows no longer dance in your eyes,
You're a king without a crown;
This affair eventually silenced
That night the rain came down.
I never had a doubt
About what I should do.
I had thought for a long time -
And always of you.

Don't worry guys, this is not real. I don't think like this. It's just a poem on a crime of passion.

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Comments

author
Tina

Thank you, Caron. It's quite dark but I like doing these sometimes. Thanks for reading and for your comment ☺

Tina x

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author
Michael Perryment

Hi Tina.
I just read "the night the rain came down". I quite liked it , I think I can see why u might have liked mine ?? We do share some similarities. We both like our poems to tell a story, with the motto at the end ?? wot do u think, am I close ?
Thank you. Michael

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author
Tina

I get drawn to poems for a number of reasons. One is that I can relate to it in some way. Another is that it tells a story. But I also like rhythm and rhyme...though I don't like rhyme for rhyme's sake...it has to be clever and either tell a story...put across an emotion...or make me laugh...it has to 'speak' to me in some way.

Thank you so much for reading and leaving a great comment 😊

Tina x

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author
Wayne Stubbs

Tina Tina Tina!! You had me worried there for a minute! 🤣👏👏 excellent write my poet friend, very deep, don't scare me again 🤣🤣😟😊💓 

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author
Tina

Ahaha😂😂  I love writing story type poems...only a story, Wayne 😂😂😂  Thanks for reading.  Love your comment 😂😂 😊  🌹🌸

Tina x

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author
Tina

Thank you so much, Kieran. I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment 😊🌹🌸

Tina x

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author
deano

 Love this Tina ❤️ you may want to edit th is part  ,I saw saw the gleaming, silver 
Much love Deano ❤️

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author
Tina

Thank you my friend. I did it in a hurry. I shall edit it straight away.  Thank you for reading and for pointing out the error. Many thanks 😊  ❤

Tina x

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author
sparrowsong

Hello Tina...

Relationships can be scary...

😨

Great write my friend!

Thank you for sharing...

Hugs...

sparrowsong

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author
Tina

Can't they just!?!  😁😂😁  Thanks for reading and for your fab comment ❤

Tina x

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author
Nigel Cresswell

I love this story, weapons hold such beguiling promise.
Great write
Nigel

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author
Tina

😀😁😂  Thanks, Nigel!   Glad you liked this little story poem. Crimes of passion intrigue me... they drive home to me just how manipulative our own minds can be given the right trigger and vulnerable person. As always,  I appreciate you reading and commenting. Thank you 🌹🌸

Tina x

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author
Tony Taylor

WOW!! TINA!!... this is a VERY powerful write dear poet sister!!...... the repetition of the title line is used to perfection here.... helping the flow and compelling structure of this BEAUTIFULLY CRAFTED narrative to jump clean off of the page and straight into the minds eye of the reader!!...... you've found an intense voicing and tone for this with VERY well designed phrasing which helps to create that 'noir' feel to this near romantic 'crime drama'......at least that's the feel I got when reading this......a kind of "Casablanca" type darkness that 'film noir' delivers!!......I REALLY enjoyed this...... it definitely took me away into the mind of the VERY creative poet that you are my friend!!.......PINNED this!!...... Bravo!! 👏👏👏......excellent work!!.......I am your cyber-friend and admirer......T xo 👌❤
 

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author
Tina

Hi Tony, I'm thrilled you can feel the 'Noir' in this. I kind of wanted to get the feeling of the constant rain hammering down in the background while all this was going on. Sometimes things work and sometimes they don't so I really am glad to hear that it probably worked 😊  Thank you so very much for reading and for leaving such a wonderful comment, my friend. 💐

Tina x

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author
GREG TUCKER

This was very creative.  I loved the way you brought the reader in full throttle mode in intensity.  This was just awesome
Thanks
Greg Tucker

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author
Tina

Thank you so much, Greg. A crime of passion is a pretty intense thing so I am so happy to hear that the poem brought that intensity to the reader. I am, as always, truly appreciative of your reading and commenting. Many thanks 💐

Tina x

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author
Cherie Sumner Taylor

Hey Tina!  You did an outstanding job letting readers feel the part of the mind of one who has pent up anger and resentment in betrayal's overwhelming feelings....Crimes of passion would be the easiest forms of murder I believe because of the high intensity of emotions behind them that explode from betrayal.  I like the repetition you have with "that night the rain came down".....showing the final curtain call that gave instigation to the act that had been brewing in the narrator's mind...almost like an acceptance and reason....I love how you did that!  Great work!  So well thought out. xo Love n Hugs, Cherie 

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author
Tina

Hi Cherie. I am so pleased that you liked this. Yeah, I agree with you, crimes of passion must surely be the easiest forms of murder. In that moment of deep love, betrayal and heartbreak the emotions are in overdrive. Is it love? Is it hate? Just flicking incessantly between the two is bound to blow a fuse! It is literally mad! I wanted the reader to take a ride in that insane mind. I'm really happy that it worked. Thank you so very much for reading and leaving a fabulous comment 💐

Tina x

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author
Tina

Thank you Pier. It's much appreciated 😊

Tina x

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author
Ian William

Brilliantly displayed, Tina. Enticingly sharp.

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author
Tina

Wow, that's a good comment! Thank you Ian, it's much appreciated 😊

Tina x

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author
YourJoe

You really know how to get into character.

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author
Tina

Hello Your Joe. Thank you very much for reading and commenting, it's very much appreciated.

I do like to try and work out characters and putting them in different situations ...perhaps it's the actor in me 😉

Tina x

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author
Tina

Hi Barry. Thanks for reading and leaving a comment....it's very much appreciated.   I'm so glad you liked it ☺

Tina x

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author
Larry Ran

My Dear Tina,

The rain was falling hard that night
As the fear poured from my heart
Your abuse and bared brutality
Had torn my life apart

.
It was time to sever the relationship
Before you left me here for dead
The silver knife brought me freedom
As it sliced the Jugular 'neath your head

All my love,
Larry xxx

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author
Tina

Wow...a brilliant poem in response to this one I did. You're so clever to come up with such fabulous responses.  Thank you so very much  😊

Tina x

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author
Larry Ran

Dear Tina,

If I was a woman, dealing with the abuse that many are exposed to, I can see myself with a pair sharp stilettos! (and I'm not talking about "high heels").

Love,
Larry xxx 

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author
Mai B

Hey Tina, definitely wouldn't have guessed this was about a crime of passion, I actually thought it was regarding self harm. What lifelike pain and bitterness, well done! 

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author
Tina

Hi Mai B  Thank you so much for reading. Poetry can be read a certain way and it can still make perfect sense. That's what I like about poetry...it really does engage your emotions. Thanks for your comment 😊

Tina x

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author
John Astley

Great to see you experimenting with different styles Tina, a lovely dark intelligent rhyme, not easy to do.
Almost conjures up images of a female version of the Tom Jones song "Delilah"

Well done

John x

Reply
author
Tina

I'm glad it conjured up images for you. It is dark, yes...just a make believe incident though 😀😀  You are very kind in your comments thank you. And thank you too for reading 😊

Tina x

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author
GREG TUCKER

Tina
I am just starting the first chapter of a Mystery Novel I am writing.  WOW it is hard

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author
Tina

That's amazing to hear. I bet it will be great. Keep persevering. My advice is to keep writing. Keep moving it forwards even if you are not totally happy with it because you can always go back at the end and do rewrites and editing. But get it all down first. If you edit as you go it can take forever and you sometimes never get it finished. I found getting it finished is the key. I'm just trying to sort out the front cover artwork for mine at the moment and I'm finding that harder than the writing lol. When writing I found that the characters took over. They held my hand and lead me through the story ☺ x

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author
GREG TUCKER

I just realized I forgot to rate you on this one.  It such a beautiful write.  I read it again

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author
Tina

Aw, thank you so much, Greg 😊 x

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author
๔๒lคภкק๏гtгคเt

It' grippingly dark, I think it has the potential of a future classic, as I read through these haunting lines , I can feel the chill of revenge and hurt of betrayal running down my spine .

I love it🌼🌷👏👏👏👏👏👏✍💞

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author
Tina

Wow what a wonderful comment!  Thank you soooo much. And thank you too for reading. I'm glad to know that the extent of betrayal and revenge came through okay.  

Thank you 🌷

Tina x

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author
Keith Stubbs

Tina 
the night the rain came down...
I was like oh my god what's happened with Tina lol until your comment at the end..loved it, was worried at first though..fantastically written..hook line and sinker..that's all I'll say 😉😉

Reply
author
Tina

😂😂  Thank you, Keith! So glad you liked it. I do love writing narrative poems that tell a story or delve into a mind. Thank you for reading and for leaving a wonderful comment.  Hope you are well ☺

Tina x

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author
jamie dehaven

wow you are an amazing writer i have read a few of yours and you can feel what you are writing, story or real that is fantastic. you really know how to use words very articulate!!!! love it.        jamie 

Reply
author
Tina

Hi Jamie ☺  You are very kind. I will be sure to take a look at your work. I think I may have read some already but I read so much lol so I will pop over to your page and take a look. 

Thank you so very much for reading and for writing such a lovely comment, it is really appreciated. Thank you 😊

Tina x

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author
Jeff Miller

Wow I can really feel these strong words and feelings flow through me I understand how the meanings of these words effect what has happened I’ve been a victim myself I enjoyed reading 

Reply
author
Tina

Hi Jeff, sorry to hear you've been a victim yourself. I'm glad you enjoyed reading the poem. Thank you so much for reading and commenting, it's much appreciated ☺

Tina x

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author
Quixotic Templar

Thank you for the disclaimer! Wow was on the edge. 
Nicely displayed.

Your new fan and follower.
Q
 

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author
Tina

Thank you, Q. Im glad you enjoyed the read and I appreciate your comment.  I have popped over to your page and read a couple of your writes and loved them both. I will be reading more of your work.  Thanks again

Tina x

Reply
author
Marion Price

Enjoyed this piece of work very much Tina xx

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