Poem -

The Angriest Chicken

The Angriest Chicken

No one reads your drivel anyway, so write something else. 
 

Several chickens gathered in a kind of 'town hall' meeting in Muncie. 
Following the minutes being read, one of the chickens spoke: 
"I think perhaps we should consider doing less pecking, and more laying." 
Another of the chickens considered the statement, and concurred: 
"With more laying, there will be more food for the people, and more babies for us." 

Then it was put to a vote: "All in favor of less pecking, raise your paw" said the foreman. 
Many arms popped up, but not in unamonimity. 
One chicken sat stoic, with arms crossed, and a vigilantly angry look upon his face. 

"Why do you not participate in the arms being put to the air, Phlegmus?" 
Questioned the stately, yet gaunt, Mildred Fernfeathers, of Parsippiny. 
The chicken did not answer. He remained motionless, and clearly irate. 

The next order of business was then proceeded to. 
"Why must we poop all over our land and cages? Are we not civilized?" Stated the foreman. 
A vote was then taken to install a very expensive plumbing system that the chickens could use to expel excrement. 
Again, Phlegmus refused to accede to the majority, drawing the ire of Verne Legfeathers, 
Who was a stickler for sanitary conditions in the barnyard. 

"Why do you not vote for cleanliness, Von Phlegmus? Must we live in filth and risk possible dysentery?" 

Finally, amongst the silence of the pecking chickenry, Phlegmus spoke: 

"I'm quite angry. I'm not sure why. Possibly it's this inclement weather, or perhaps some type of splenic disorder, but I appear to be in quite a 'fowl' mood!" 

The chickens all gave a polite chuckle to Phlegmus' pun, as he had been preparing to use it for about seven weeks now, and had made it quite clear he was going to do so, and concluded the meeting in ernst. 

"Wow! That guy's an idiot" commented Ricky Lange, one of the chicken tenders from Mulvaney, Texas. 
Phlegmus was then remanded to a holding cell in Gentry, Alaska, until he could be tried on charges of Contempt of Court in an unrelated case in Biloxi. Several days later he was found in a can of Progresso Chicken and Stars soup in Armenia. 

"Delicious" stated Mildred Fernfeathers-Legfeathers, who had recently married Verne, but decided to give up her maiden name in the process. 

The End. 

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Comments

author
A Lonely Journey

LOL. Thanks PrayingmantisDarkly. I figured you were the only one who read me anyway, and you're fum, so you would enjoy it. 

Thanks! 

Matthew. 

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author
A Lonely Journey

Matt! What the ehck(pig latin for heck)!! 
That's your best poem yet!! 

Secret Admirerer. (why can't I spell that??!!). 

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author
Cherie Sumner-Taylor

Lol....I love how versatile you are in your themes of writing...and here you show your very original sense of humor....I love the pun of his "fowl" mood....ha ha ha.  Just a note....I had to look up the difference between chicken paw and chicken foot....because I had no idea that there is such a thing as a chicken paw...but yep!  I learned something today..lol  I thought only dogs and cats and such had paws...I like the dialogue format and cute story.  Never doubt what you share...very charming.  xo ((hugs))    

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author
A Lonely Journey

Cheerie!! 
YOU are the greatest person! Thank you so much for understanding my loopiness! I went a little crazy, and just wrote something out because I had written this brutally bad, serious poem previously, and it was panned by everyone, including some yaks who were, at the time, experiencing horrible intestinal pain due to an egregious colon infection. 
Anyway, I like to write crazy stuff sometimes, and my good friends, like you and DarkPoetess enjoyed it, so I'm happy...in a miserable sort of way. lol. 

You are awesome, Cheerie! 

Matthew. 

PS. Stay tuned for part two of this sullen, yet idiotic drama. 

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author
Cherie Sumner-Taylor

Alright!  I look forward to part two....Keep being you...You are such a joy on Cosmo.. xo ;)

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author
A Lonely Journey

Thanks Cheerie! You're the best. I think a lot of people see me as a wack job, but I consider myself more of a crazy person. 
YOU are also such an incredible joy on here. I wish everyone was you on here(and was writing about their emotional freedom ; ) ). 
Thanks Buddy, 

M. 

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author
Flower Girl

Oh Matthew......you never fail to make me smile and laugh......your such a talent.....more more! Purple luv & hugs xo :)

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author
A Lonely Journey

Purple One! 
Thank you! You're an angel...or an angle...one of the two. But if it's the latter, you're not at all 'obtuse', but always 'right'. 
Thanks again, I like wackiness(Wacky is my middle name. My parents were thinking of going with Mulbert, or Armond, but decided on Wacky), and I like that this site has a story thingy, so we may write as such. No one else likes them(except Cheerie, and the DarkPoetess, and our lost friend Silent Screamer, and you), but that's OK, you guys rule, and I'm glad I could make you smile. 

Your friend always, 

M. 

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