Poem -

The Christmas Yak

Punchy McGibbon's Dream ...

The Christmas Yak

Tiny Tim...you've got a little something in your teeth there. - E. Scrooge. 
I think this quote says it best. Elvira Scrooge(Ebenezer's angry, yet vile, sister) would never have alerted anyone to a piece of broccoli in their bicuspid, had those 3 ghost guys not have frightened her brother so terribly, and thus, the Christmas spirit. 
This poem is a reflection of this seasonal kindness, as seen through the eyes of some people who have yaks roaming through their households. I think most of you will get it, but if you don't, it's the story of 'Yulelog' McGibbons, who was named such as he loved to watch that Yule log thing on Christmas every year, until that unfortunate time in 1987 when he leaned in too close and his nose caught fire through his TV set. He ended up suing channel 11, and got $3 million cash, but his proboscis was never the same, and his decision to purchase yaks to roam around in his house, with the settlement money was widely panned by his family members. Anyway, this is his story: 

The last of the chickens lay splayed in their bed, 
While the beasts of St. Neder wore fingers of lead 
And the memories of leaflets that clouded our view, 
Spoke of legions of muskrats that lived in a shoe 

The long, lonely nights of ribbons and trees, 
Fall to short, angry days with a circus of fleas 
And all of the musings of Tarrytown joys, 
Remember the pot roast, eaten by boys 

Oh, Ari Phelonger, you demon of goats! 
I gave you my pencil, and stories you wrotes 
And yet, Millie Tomchecque, a philomene truss! 
While Billy McGibbons got hit by that bus. 

The wayfair electric, so solemn with cheese, 
Ran a gambit of numbers, from sevens to threes 
And yet his parombal, effusive extension, 
Ran futility long, despite his ascension 

Hairy, hairy, hairy lummoxes! 
Forever demand cardboardian boxes 
For if you had gathered some creme-based hair gel, 
We could pardon your wonderful, terrible smell! 

Arnold, place the spectral star, 
Upon that bough way up thar 
The beauty of our Christmas tree...
Is only marred by that yak pee. 

 

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Comments

author
Cherie Leigh

Lol....It is so nice to see your humor in full swing on Cosmo, Matthew.  These are my favorite lines:

"Hairy, hairy, hairy lummoxes! 
Forever demand cardboardian boxes 
For if you had gathered some creme-based hair gel, 
We could pardon your wonderful, terrible smell! ".................lol
 

You have such a wacky incredibly creative mind, M.  You should redo the whole Scrooge tale with your yak and friends...lol  I am not sure I would want a yak pee saturated tree in my house though.

Merry Christmas my friend.  May you find your toast glass be pee free this holiday season.  Love n Hugs to you!  ;) xo Cheerie   

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author
A Lonely Journey

Cheerie!! 
YOU are the greatest! 
I think you always understand the importance of yaks during the Christmas season, and I so appreciate that! The fact that they pee a lot is not such a great thing, but sometimes they've just got to go. 
Thank you so much for always being such a great friend, and wonderful person! I think humor(or lack of in this case. lol), is important because without it I'd be humorless, and sad. Sometimes life is sooooooo stressful, and perplexingly perplexing, and depressing, that I just go a little loopy, but thank you for always being here to pick me up. You're just one of the nicest people I've ever met! 
And thank you for your love of yaks. It's truly a sign of tremendous character, and worldliness. My grandmother always used to say: 
'If a person doesn't like yaks, they are not a person, but merely a shell of a person, with no regard for large, hairy beasts!' and I think she was correct. 

You're the best!! 

Love n' hugs, 
M. 

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author
Marion Price

Ha ha...GREAT to have you back Matthew...have missed the fun 😄💖

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author
A Lonely Journey

Thanks Marionette! 
Another yak lover! I'm so happy that this season brings us out! 
My grandmother always used to say: 'If you don't have a yak, you don't have a life, and if you don't have a life, you might as well sell your house, and go on welfare, ya bum!' and I think she was correct, and I purchased some yaks. True story...except for the words in it. 
Did you happen to know McGibbons? He was a good man...except for that weird nose. He detested yaks. 
But, thank you! 
(some type of emoji here), 
M. 

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author
Marion Price

Lol...did she REALLY say that?? If so...I want your granny!! How much...2 spleens?? 😄😄

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author
A Lonely Journey

Yes. But she also used to say: 'I think I have a meerkat lodged in my nose!' when it was obviously a muskrat, so you can't really take her too seriously. A spleen and some Aqua Velva would be fine. Thanks. 
M. 

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author
Marion Price

And Why can't you post emojis?? There are a million of them in that little tiny smiley face on your screen 🤔🤔

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author
A Lonely Journey

I don't have that little, tiny smiley face place! (angry emoji!). I think I got robbed by Cosmo management! I'm going on a poetry strike until I get some!...wait...that may have an opposite effect! I'm going to write lots of poems until I get emoji access!! (that'll scare em!). M. 

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author
Marion Price

Matthew...the smily face is at the bottom of the letters you type...it must be, surely...what phone have you got??

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author
A Lonely Journey

I don't have a phone! I have a computer! One of those really big ones, like the first IBM ones. It weighs 6,000 lbs., but I still carry it. Actually, I don't have a phone(yes, I'm weird), but I do have an IPod. Can you emojify from the computer? (Query looking emoji)? I hate typing out my emoji names all the time. 
Thanks! 
M. 

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author
Marion Price

Lol lol...Matthew!! I don't have an I pad but emojis are cutting edge technology...how can you live without this🤪..and this🤔...😱😖😵😘🤗🤣🤩🧐😢😯😫😠👿😲
i mean who needs poetry for expression??
Ok I'm rubbing it in, go check out your I pad....😂😂😂

Reply
author
A Lonely Journey

LOL! 
It's not an IPad, it's an IPod, which means it's more poddy, than paddy. (Note: I've noticed you increased the number of t's you now apply to my name, and thank you, but it was totally unnecessary). (you didn't have to do that guy looking emoji). 
Emoji poem!! What a splendid idea! You and I and Cheerie and Jilliputian, and Gerg, and whoever, should do poems ONLY using emojis! No words, just emojis! Of course, I'll have to write out all my emojis...which I;m not sure how I'll do if I can't use words, but perhaps I could use hexadecimals! like that Martian guy! Deal?? Get writing! Emojiliy! 

M. 

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author
Greg Etsell

wow what poem you are so great 
what imagination you have I just wish 
I had it wow what poem

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author
A Lonely Journey

Hey Greg! Thank you so much, my friend(unless that was sarcastic, then I agree with you). 
Sorry for the late response, but I've been dealing with some demons in my mind that have clouded my head of late. 
Anyway, thanks again, and it's good to see you. 

M. 

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author
Greg Etsell

Oh I’m sorry to hear you’ve been having problems I’m sorry Merry Christmas to you and peace and love

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author
A Lonely Journey

Thanks my friend! I'll be OK. 
You have a wonderful Christmas, also. 
Always good to hear from you. 

M. 

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author
Greg Etsell

do you think we could come up with 
Christmas chicken joke
why did the chicken cross 
the road to see the chicken santa claus
lol  lol

Reply
author
A Lonely Journey

LOL! 
Love it! 
Why did the road cross the chicken(on Christmas)? 
Because Santa had his fork! hmmm...I'll have to work on that! 
Thanks for making me laugh, Gregor! 
M. 

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