The Plan

I might have drifted a bit further than the initial plan                                                                                                but what was the plan ? who was the plan, or was it even that - a plan ... ?                                                               It could have been many a things, a lustre of those utters, a chemical combination of who, when, what and why ... maybe it was just a wall built there for shelter, for comfort, for hope                                                                   maybe even a cascade of wishful thinking, waiting to be explored                                                                         whatever it was - it changed me, it shaped my soul into something else                                                                     it was vivid, it was vibrantly aggressive with all kinds of dark arrays                                                                          it left glimpses of the world i wish i had before i had to do all those things, yet- it slowly killed me                            piece by piece, taking bits of crusts from my soul - leaving me tainted by all its glorifying horror.                            

So what was the plan ?                                                                                                                                             I i had a good one, it was for everyone including me ... but I will be paying the endless price.