Poem -

The Precarious Narrative

The Lost Pages

The Precarious Narrative

While sifting through the grains of time, 
I came across a broken rhyme 
It read with such a brilliant ease,
As freesia on a summer breeze 
Mine eyes, they could not turn away 
Despite the glory of the day 
The words, they spoke of gorgeous lands, 
Pure sunlight held within His hands, 
All dreams without an ending day 
And love alone to never sway 
But as I read the final scene, 
The words it seemed would not convene 
They gathered as malignant mass 
Upon the brittle, drying grass 
And so I hid my eyes away, 
Afraid they'd lose the Light of day 
And all the people stopped and stared, 
Remorseless of the cross they beared 
And as I laid the doctrine down, 
Upon the soft and fertile ground,
The pages seemed to wither bare, 
Deserting all except despair 

I wept above the frail book, 
The crowd withdrew, afraid to look 
And as my tear collected there, 
It bled upon the mottled fare 
It bathed the book without a sound, 
And nourished the forsaken ground 
And as it rinsed the final verse, 
The words, they broke disorder's curse 

And as I read the message there, 
I knew it not a sin to care 
Like nurture from a warming mother, 
The message read...'love one another.' 
 

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Comments

author
Marion Price

Aww...Matthew, such a lovely lovely work. I absolutely love the ending, so full of hope. You are a star my friend ...a bright shining poetic star🌟🌟 hugs and hugs 💕

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author
A Lonely Journey

Thanks Marionette! 
You lie sooooo nicely. 
I'm the worst poet since Verne McMickles III, who wrote such classics as: 
-An Ingrown Hair On My Chest, 
-The Fleas of Navarrone, 
-Arnold's Big Shoes, 
and, 
-Swimming In Marmalade, 
but you are so sweet. 
Thank you so much for touting my dribble! and my drivel! 
Hug City, 
Matthew. 

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author
BleatingHeart

Hi Matt,
I saw you were bombing horrifically, so I figured I'd come on here, and try to save the day, and make you look better.
That blew. However, there were some words in it, and punctuation, so it can't be all bad. Let's analyze it:
-First of all, no one knows what precarious means(not even you), so maybe we should strike that. Maybe call it 'A Journey Into Boredom.' This title lends itself to portraying an element of a trip, or venture, while displaying the true vision of your poem, the desire to put a legion of people to sleep.'
Secondly, the words in the body of the poem. We could probably do without them. They're extraneous, and moronic. Perhaps, we should just have the body read 'On lunch, be back in five.' This gives the illusion that you might be able to write good poetry(even though you're not), and makes people think of delicious food, which endears them to your write.
Thirdly, the ending. Keep that, but only the part AFTER the words, the blank page. It's your best work.
Anyway, great job(phtttttt!!! sorry, that was funny), please stop writing! Less words with you(or none), is so much better.
Thanks,
Sakapupu.

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author
Cherie Leigh

Dear Matthew,

First, please ignore Ima Sakapupu....lol.  He and Parrotlegg hang out together. That should tell you something.  
 
Second, I love the message at the end of this!  The book is like a holy book like the Bible that people take for granted the words that show how to love and live...and perhaps that is why he cried?  I love this line, "Remorseless of the cross they beared."  It is as if the world does not care of Christ's sacrifice and do as they please not understanding the ramifications. It can feel very much like the world turns a blind eye to their actions and consequences. Somehow, God still loves us. 

It would sure be nice if everyone could just love one another and put away selfish desires and hurtful actions. If only such a wonderful book existed....Oh wait!  Hmmm.. 

I feel like the character in your narrative....so alone in how I feel over sentimental things....Great write to show the obvious desensitizing of the world.   I am your forever fan.  Love n Hugs, Cheerie ;) xo 

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author
A Lonely Journey

Oh my gosh! 
I should have known that The Most Beautiful Person, would be the only one who got it! LOL. You actually got it better than I did! Thank you!! I was about to take it down, but as long as you liked it, and Marionette, kind of liked it, that's all that matters. I can't blame everyone else for not liking it, because I wrote it really quickly, but you are so smart, and nice, and sweet, that you could make the phone book sound beautiful. Thank you, Cherie. I'm not that much of a writer, but I try. lol. And Sakapupu was just trying to help, so don't be mad at her. She actually had some pretty good advice, which I've taken to heart, and here is my next poem: 

'                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           ' 

The end. 

Do you like it? Thanks! It's kind of a documentary on silence, and how the use of no language affects the sentimental side of walruses. Sakapupu loved it. 
Honestly though, thank you! You are so encouraging, and wonderful and '                    ' (limited word usage for you're beautiful). 
Love and hugs, 
Matthew. 

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author
Marion Price

If i can interject Cherie, you're not alone, I'm here and Matthew and Jill and Pratibha and BM and Tony and Poetess and Greg and Simon etc etc etc but don't tell Matthew i called BM...BM  ok. We are having another challenge soon and you HAVE to be in it this time or your star bothers and sisters will be very upset ok...hugs 💕

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author
A Lonely Journey

Interjectory Interjection: 
Yes, we will have the grandaddy of contests next week, OK? Sqwackle will be flowing, and the subject will be something gloriously comprehendable, rather than the normal, strange, ones that you guys come up with. LOL. 
Cheerie's Angels is just the most amazing, little group of people I've ever met. Love you guys. See you swoon. Matthew. 

End of interjectory interjection. 
Have a rice weekend. M. 

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author
Marion Price

More wrinkles Matthew, you owe me a pot of really expensive face cream 😆😃night lol...💖

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author
Pratibha Savani

Wow amazing piece of text here. Flowed with ease and kept the reader engaged. Really liked the descriptive text about the book and the positive note at the end. Epic Px 💜

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author
A Lonely Journey

Thanks Prathiba! 
You're really sweet. I'm still giving up writing, but you're really nice. 
Have a great weekend! 
Hugs, 
Matthew. 

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author
Being Me

Ohhhhhhh..... Bloody brilliant, Matthew!  Perfectly polished and crafted so tightly. I am in total awe... I mean it. This is an awesome poem. 

While sifting through the grains of time, 
I came across a broken rhyme 
It read with such a brilliant ease,
As freesia on a summer breeze 
Mine eyes, they could not turn away 
Despite the glory of the day

Now this is the way to start a story (in this case poem). There is the tantalising feel of an almost nonsensical naivety to it. But it is in no way nonsensical and definitely not naive... On the contrary, this poem bleeds a whole lot of sense. 

I am not one for the bible, or scriptures per se... But, I do believe it is our duty to care for this planet and fellow inhabitants (whether human or Yak etc) and to love one another. Love is soooo important. 

Now, having just said that, the reason I find this poem very special is because of the way it is linked to faith, and the scripture of it, without being "in your face." This is a beautiful and powerful piece and the power of it lies in its subtlety and in its fairytale quality. 

I absolutely love this poem. It has everything... a worthy message, rhythm and rhyme told in a beautiful storylike way. This has been penned by a great mind with ink surely gifted by faery fae. Amazing x

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author
A Lonely Journey

Being Great, 
You sooooo got this one, thank you! As I was writing it, I was thinking to myself, even if people aren't religious, there are still good lessons in the scriptures, and writings, that show how people should treat, or care, for one another, and it just feels better to get along, and not hurt each other, doesn't it? I think so. I was thinking before I wrote this, that I'm amazed how TV can put on so many shows a week, every week!(like 48 Hours, 20/20, etc.) about murder, and infidelity, etc.! They never run out of them, it's amazing! I mean, why do people think they absolutely have a right to take someone else's life? I just don't get it. You only get one life. It's crazy. 
Anyway, thank you so much for the kind words! I'm glad I didn't take this down like I was going to, because I'm glad I got a few, and this beautiful response. 
Thank you so much, Being Wonderful. You're an intelligent, nice, good person, and I appreciate you! 
Hugs, 
Matthew. 

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