Story -

Interesting Facts About Nature.

Interesting Facts About Nature.

Author's Note: Hey guys, sometimes I write silly things, but in no way mean to demean the integrity of the site, and the beautiful poetry on here. It's just an attempt to bring some levity to the sorrow this life often brings, and maybe make someone smile. I was on another site, briefly, before this(this one's better), and if I wrote a humorous attempt, it was often met with crickets chirping loudly, and maybe one comment, from a guy who was on-line looking for the phone number for Applebees, and accidentally put in 'dorky humor'(it happens more than you know). Anyway, I hope no one is offended. 
Also, 2 people on here, whose names will not be mentioned(PoetessDarkly and Silent Screamer), forced me to post it! I swear! They threatened me at poetic pencil-point, saying they will not comment on any more of my sad attempts at prose, and yet I still have to continue to pay them for those services!(they drive a hard bargain). 
Anyway, I apologize in advance. 
Matthew. 

In order to break up the monotony of my poetry, I have included a listing of interesting facts about nature, and it's inhabitants. I have always enjoyed factoids, and I thought you cool people would also.  
 
It just amazes me that:  
 
-Most elephants weigh less than the tongue of a blue whale.
-A moth has no stomach.
-A whale's heart beats only 9 times a minute.
 
Wow! Here are some others that I believe I also heard, and think are true, but don't quote me on them, because I'm a dork: (and, PS., sorry for the attempt at humor, but if we don't laugh once in a while, we'll spend all day crying!):  
 
Interesting Facts About Nature by MZ.  
 
1. Mickey Mouse, before he was Steamboat Willie, and eventually the Mickey we love today, came over on a ship from Cambodia, and was known as Plaguey Pete!  
 
2. The platypus has 17 hearts!  
 
3. Godzilla could actually speak fluent Japanese, but chose to make loud squeaking/ squawking noises instead.  
 
4. In Armenia, a female yak is called a 'Hoochie Coochie Mama.'  
 
5. The hyena, though often seen laughing, enjoys sad music, and is described by jungle mates as having 'the tears of a clown.'  
 
6. Scientists in Bangladesh taught a gorilla to use a toilet in the wild, but the experiment was scrapped when he kept forgetting to put the seat down for the female gorillas.  
 
7. A walrus' tusks can grow to be 40 feet long, and the full grown adult walrus can weigh up to 700 million tons!  
 
8. Sheep are exactly the same as humans, with the exception of their physiological, mental and television preference differences!  
 
9. The common barnyard chicken in Chernobyl, Russia has 13 beaks!  
 
10. A large group of manatee is called a Flubber.  
 
11. The largest dog in the world is not Clifford, as you would expect, but Marmaduke, who once ballooned up to 400 lbs. when he was taking Prednisone for an intestinal disorder!  
 
12. A female Polar bear, in the wild, will put on socks if the temperature reaches -40 below zero in Antarctica!
 
13. The Sea Lion(the thing that looks like a seal) is not at all related to the lion family! And is actually more closely related to the Stevens family of West Yonkers.  
 
14. Sea-Monkeys, as believed more recently, are not actually some type of little shrimp, but are actually a little family of smiling creatures with three pointy things on their heads, a father, a mother with a red bow in her hair, and 2 kids, just like the comic book picture!  
 
15. Gorilla poop can now be manufactured synthetically in a laboratory setting!  
 
16. While it's true that a leopard cannot change it's spots, it can change into a sharp, polka-dot patterned jacket by Calvin Klein.  
 
17. Cows are actually lactose intolerant!  
 
18. Scientists in Norwich, NY have uncovered evidence that dogs don't urinate in certain spots to 'mark their territory' but more because they 'really had to go.'  
 
19. Squirrels have the unique ability to hide their nuts.  
 
20. A human being could actually crawl through the veins of a blue whale, but only after receiving express written consent from the animal, to do so.  
 
21. A fruit bat eats 60,000 lbs. of mosquitos a day!  
 
22. Ancient cave drawings have revealed that dinosaurs were displeased with the name given them because it sounded too much like female talk-show host Dinah Shore!  
 
23. The sloth sleeps about 20 hours out of every day! (He spends the other 4 hours complaining how he ‘didn’t sleep that well because his tree was lumpy’, etc., and ‘how tired he is’ to his sloth mates).  
 
24. Yogi and Boo Boo Bear are not as pleasant in actual life as they are on their cartoon, and Yogi often rips the arm off a camper while Boo Boo steals the pick-a-nick basket. Ranger Smith is also not as nice as depicted, and oft times will shoot them with a high caliber rifle.  
 
25. The common house fly’s eyes have 629 sides to them, but he still requires bifocal glasses to read his prescription bottle!  
 
26. The duck, in Victorian Times(before it was called a duck) was called a ‘Bend Over To Avoid That Object Hurling At Your Head!’, but the name was changed when the old joke: ‘Who stepped on a Bend Over To Avoid That Object Hurling At Your Head!?’(when someone farted) fell flat because it took too long to tell.  
 
27. Baboons are not born with bare bottoms, but actually shave their intergluteal cleft with a sharp rock in the privacy of their own jungle lair!  

 

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Comments

author
Edward Williams

I did really enjoy this .. I also love factoids as well .. 
you Know 99% of statistics are made up on the spot lol j/k ..Intresting read . Some of them I was unsure to laugh or be amazed 🤔 
here’s one for you I’m not a story writer( yet) but if I do it will be on the negative rh factor.. 
i always said there are more than two types of people in this world .. but reacently I changed my perception there ARE only two people

RH positive means you can be traced back to resses monkeys..
Rh neg on the other hand means you CANNOT  . This fact has always intrested the hell out of me . I trully belive like a lot of people do that the negative blood Type is evidence of alien bloodline .
what do you think about that?
 

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author
A Lonely Journey

Hey Edward! How are you, my friend? 
Let me just note to everyone that they(the 2nd set), aren't real, just some kidding around. lol. 
Thank you for reading, and enjoying, though. 

And THAT is really interesting! Is that really true???!!! Man, now I have to have that test! 

Awesome, Edward. 

Thanks, 

Matthew. 

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author
Fiona Cummings

We come from another planet may be the one we are trying to go back to. The big bang was our arrival to earth 

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author
A Lonely Journey

Lisa! You were supposed to play it up more(like I was Henny Youngman, or something(is he a comedian?...or my dentist?). Anyway, I'll send your Comment Extortion Payment tomorrow, OK? Thanks. 

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author
joya

you ARE a dork

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author
joya

this was funny and i was laughing while reading this. it just is so funny, this is what you do during your freetime!
haha :D
i liked this, it was factual... ig... and funny, mostly funny
:DDDD

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author
A Lonely Journey

Thank you Joyous Person! You are the greatest! (and I'll pay you later for saying that. Thanks). 
It is SO factual. lol. Can you believe a platypus has 17 hearts??!! 
I have 11 spleens, but not because I was born with that many, but I have a surgical procedure to add one every 2 years(I'm deathly afraid of not producing enough bile some day when I'm on a vacation, or something...even though I'm not sure what bile is for...but it must be important, isn't it?). Sounds like Nile, and that's a pretty big river. 

Thanks my awesome, new friend!! 

Matthew. 

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author
joya

if you had 17 hearts, then you would be in such terrible luck for heartbreak lol
i was born with... of the things that i think i was supposed to be born with, idk... :D
you don't have to pay me back, it's just one regular person saying something nice to a dork. lol
:DDDDDD

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author
A Lonely Journey

Hey!! One more dork remark, and I'll soon have 12 spleens(as I'll be removing yours and adding it to my arsenal of spleenery!). Kidding, I would never hurt you...but can I have your spleen? C'mon, you don't need all that bile. If you run out, they've always got sales at Walmart(buy one large jug of bile, get two free). OK? 

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author
joya

ok, that sounds great, let me just talk to my doctor!
:D

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author
A Lonely Journey

Thank you! 'You can never have enough spleens!' (my catchphrase, question 1). 
Anyway, let me know what your doctor says(Is it Dr. Suess? Because I believe he said 'I think I can, I think do that, I think it's good, to give your spleen to Matt!). 
OK, go get prepared for surgery, and I'll see you soon. 
Thank you so much! 

Matthew. 

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author
joya

um, my doctor says yes, but my mommy says no. sorry. maybe ask for someone else spleen, besides, i've gotten to know my spleen and i don't really think it would appreciate it being donated to someone else. she loves me.
:D

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author
A Lonely Journey

OK...what about a large intestine?? They're weird anyway! 
 

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author
joya

i like my large intestine...

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author
A Lonely Journey

You know, when you promise someone internal body parts, and then renig on the deal, it's a horrible slap in the face to that person. I'm thinking of writing a poem in which a young, fair maiden tells a handsome, virile knight that he can have her spleen, and then, at the last moment, changes her mind, and he is left on a surgical table, longing for a spleen that will never come. It's a very sad affair. 
What about an appendix? They don't do anything, do they? Thanks. 

Matthew. 

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author
joya

ok, i never promised my spleen, and i happen to like my appendix... guess you'll have to live without them. teehee :D
:D

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author
A Lonely Journey

You know, I've never met anyone who was so fond of their internal organs! 
What about a trade then? I'll give you 2 spleens, an eardrum, and some cerebellum, for a coccyx, and an aorta. Deal? 

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author
joya

i need my eardrum, and what's a cerebellum? sorry, i never paid attention in science
:D

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author
A Lonely Journey

LOL! 
No! I was giving you MY eardrum! Man, you're hard to exchange body parts with! 
The cerebellum is part of your brain(maybe I already took that from you. lol). 
Pay attention! 

Matthew. 

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author
joya

ohhhhh.
sorry, whoops, but no, i think if you add $200.00 in the deal then we'll be sold. take it or leave it.
:D

Reply
author
A Lonely Journey

Deal!!!...but you have to throw in one of your femoral bones, OK? 
I'm so excited! I'm going to attach your aorta to my spleen to give it extra splenic abilities...wait! I'm giving YOU my spleens! Oh my gosh, this is turning into one of those Gift of the Magi things. Oh well, maybe I'll attach your aorta to the eardrum I'm not giving you for supersonic hearing. Oh, the possibilities! Let's get our doctors together so they can set up a time for the transference. 
My doctor's name is: Ima Quack, MD(Monkey Delivery), and his number is: 
1-800-MAL-PRACTICE. 
Thank you! 

M. 

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author
Flower Girl

Hey Matthew......enjoyed this ink.....very informative.....true or not LOL! You come up with the most witty things to write.....luv how your mind thinks and functions......purple luv & hugs xo :) 

Reply
author
A Lonely Journey

Lavender Floral Person, 
I missed your comment! Thank you so much! I love when people like my loopiness, because it just proves that insanity is the key to a good, mental state of mind! You're awesome!! I miss you. 

Love, 

Matthew. 

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author
Cherie Sumner-Taylor

Lol...I cannot believe you have me enamored of yaks now because of all your wackiness and convincing national geographic information....These were so creative and express how very quick witted and funny you are.  My favorites are number 16 and 23....Lol....You are hilarious..xo ;)  Cheerie

Reply
author
A Lonely Journey

Oh Cheerie! Thank you for liking this! It really means a lot to me. I actually thought this one was nearly in the realm of almost amusing, and I sooooo appreciate you liking it. I'm glad you're as loopy as I am(Insanity loves company, or so they say). Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! 
Lurve, 
Mattias. 

Reply