Story -

The Boy With the Exceptionally Large Duodenum.

The Boy With the Exceptionally Large Duodenum.

I would give my entire kingdom for a more generous duodenum! - King Henry IV 

To Cheerie. The only person who knew what a duodenum was.

"Leonard, what's wrong?" Asked the teacher quietly. 
"It's this duodenum", stated Leonard "it's so grandiose, the kids all make fum of me." 
"Well, let's see what they think after our lesson today, said the teacher, and if they're still making fun of you, we'll excise it, and slap them around with it! LOL"(the teacher added LOL after her statement, as it is a legal loophole in case anything bad happens, she can say she LOL'd, and all legal indictments are eradicated). 

Teacher’s Lesson:

The Duodenum: a poem by Porgy Blintze Shelvy

A gathering of digested food,
Is stored in an intestinal prelude
The substance is a thing called Chyme,
A favorite plot of book and rhyme

Afore the Chyme can absorp in Small,
A chemical breakdown starts it all
And when it’s at it’s optimum,
It’s melted by the duodenum

I cannot tell you how I long,
For my duod to tarry strong
As it is though a water line
To darkened lands of intestine

Gather up your squiggly body
You food digesting, lengthy potty
For if the doud don’t do it’s deed,
Your function here is not in need

Oh little piece of floppy stuff,
I pray you gather that cream puff
And send it to it’s downward place,
And not back up into my face.

El Endo.

“So, class, what do you think of Leonard’s giant duodenum now??!!” queried Mrs. Hoffsnifter condescendingly.

There was a silence, then Herbert Lechflinder finally spoke:  “I think it’s swell!”
And then all the kids joined in: “What a great duodenum, Leonard!” “Can I touch it?” “How’d you get such a nice one??!!” “I’ll give you 2 Mickey Mantles and a Thurman Munson for it!”

And Leonard was as happy as a clam. A clam with a mischievously large duodenum, and was forever chosen as the first pick for all kickball games. The End.  

Note: I'm sorry about this entry kids, but Cheerie challenged me, so please blame her, and do not kick me off here. KIDDING! Don't blame Cheerie, she's great! But don't blame me. Blame Hoffsnifter. 
 

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Comments

author
A Lonely Journey

Thanks Herman. 
I don't know if I'd call me an idiot, but more of a person with decreased mental capacity ranging below 20 on the Intelligence Quotient chart. 
I do appreciate your kindness, however, even if you didn't have any. 
Anyway, thanks for the memories. 
Matt. 

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author
Cherie Sumner-Taylor

Lol....I had not idea that your comments about a duodenum would make such a funny poem.....I guess it was Porgy's poem....lol  You mean I actually knew what I was talking about when I said I thought a duodenum was a part of the small intestines?  Every now and then I get something right...I am totally impressed how you can take a word (a very unusual word) and make it poetic....lol  I am glad Leonard will not be picked on anymore too...lol  Nothing worse than being picked on for a large duodenum....You are original...I love your humor, M. . ..I enjoyed. ;)  xo  

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author
A Lonely Journey

Thank you Cheerie!! You are a wonderful duodenal inspiration!!!...that didn't sound great, but you know what I mean! lol. Kidding! Thank you for liking my duodenal silliness. People probably think I'm an idiot, but you're so right, it's hard to see a young'un ostracized for an excessive internal body part, and we can't help feeling bad for them. I remember when MY teacher showed my x-rays to my class, and they ribbed me quite vehemently about my 14 spleens, but later, when they were trying to digest an enormous snack of chicken pudding, and braised parsnips at break time, they were all in awe of my excessive bile, and how I broke down the entire meal, and I was asked to join in many academic year games, and even got a chance to guide Mr. Santallucci's souffle when it was too heavy for anyone else to digest it. 
Anyway, thank you soooooo much! I like when people like my weird ones because it shows that they have similar, odd senses of humor, and are wonderful people, and you are! 
Thanks! 
L&H, 
Matthew. 
 

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author
A Lonely Journey

Thank you Red!!! 
I was so waiting for my 2nd fan to show up! 
Hey, if God didn't want us to be loopy, He wouldn't have invented roller coasters...or something like that!! 
Thank you!!!!! 
Matthew.  

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