An Ode To Grief

 
 
You see, there are different types of grief
the grief that pulls you under 
when someone you love dies without notice
a sudden shock, no last hug, no last goodbye
a darkness without hope of light 
 
then there's the sort that leaves you feeling worthless,
anxious, angry, a different type of black
because someone you were deeply in love with
has chosen to betray you
 
Grief for that moment, you finally wake up at fifty years’ old
and realize you have always had a strange feeling, and loneliness
around those you share the same blood with, trusted since birth
those who instead of shining light on you
have always left you in darkness
a revelation of realization, that's grief too
 
Grief, a word that can be used to describe
the deepest darkest moments of a human being
because once something or someone is lost
usually they can only remain in memory
memory that can burst with joy
or memory that burst your bubble every time it comes into mind
 
and for those who don't have memory
that's grief too, because the loss is invisible
you cannot remember what was, nor seconds after, what is
 
Grief, a word not one human can escape
even when we deny it's knocking on our doors or windows
our hearts and our minds, there is no escape
because once it's here, it’s here
 
 
I've learnt to embrace mine
because in the end it has no rules, there aren't time limits
 it doesn't just pass because we decide
humans are far more complex than that
 
once the heart feels like it's been ripped into two
once you feel the excruciating pain and real feelings of grief
it takes all the time it needs to repair, slowly without a limit on time.
 
My ode to grief...
 
no one knows when the pain subsides?
I only know that eventually
there will come a day we rise from slumber
feeling better, fresher and brighter
 
because ironically…
 
Grief  has its life span
and in the end even grief will die.