Blue lips
Cold as the winter,
Sad as the rain,
Losing you, was at first a blessing...a relief,
Now, like any day and every day since, a day filled with so much pain.
An eternal rest for you,
Brought many sleepless nights for me,
Remembering you, for who you were... all it's worth,
But also a reminder of all the moments I won't be sharing with you anymore, hit my heart where it truly hurt.
So much that to me time simply stopped ticking,
A mind once filled with dreams, is now a walking bomb filled with evil thoughts,
My view on the world shifted and it's people... a disgrace to all of humanity,
Trying to recall my emotions always brings up the worst in me, a feeling so sickening.
Your death threw me off balance, took away all the joy that I still had,
Life is actually worse than death, it's the hell we all talk to each other about,
But here I'm living with the beautiful, the ugly and the bad,
Pretending and avoiding the fact that my lips are just as blue as yours were
and that no matter what I'll do, I will never get you back.
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Comments
I am so sorry.Â
Nothing to be sorry about darling :)
People have many regrets in life and we all have to live with them.
My bond with my mother wasn't the one I wish I had in many of the movies I saw... due to her 1 mistake in life. It wasn't picture perfect, but we worked around it as much as we could, till we couldn't no more.
And like most people who lost someone, they wish they had more time to figure things out and make them better... but the truth is the best thing for my mom at the time was for her to die... to find peace and that's something I want to have too. But my time is not over here, so I'll hold on to her memories and one day I'll see her again...but healthy and I... I'll be happy again.
But sometimes I get nightmares... of her deceased corpse and me standing over her weeping like a baby, because even if she wasn't the number one mom in the world... that was my mom you know. And I miss her and no matter how much counceling (which I did for a year) that's a scar not ment to be healed, a reminder I wasn't the number one son for her either.