The Beginning of the End

It was a beautiful place. The marble floor was a mirror to the ornately carved ceiling and intricate crystal chandelier. The dancers flowed around the room like a fairytale. All the women were dressed in magnificent gowns and the men wore the finest tuxedos. It was like walking through a forest of glimmering silks and translucent chiffons. It was all so perfect and beautiful. Everywhere I looked joyous couples were enjoying themselves. So what was wrong with me?

All of the children were safe in a sumptuous nursery. Probably sleeping by now..right?

Still, there was something wrong, terribly, irreversibly wrong. A feeling of claustrophobic panic clenched my stomach. I had to get the children out of here! As soon as the thoughts entered my mind, the dancers came closer and I started to recognize them.

I tried to run, but gentle and not-so-gentle hands pulled me in, grabbing at the sleeves of my gown “Dance with us Shell,” they pleaded. “It’s been so long. It’ll be okay.”

Cold sweat burst from my forehead and dread filled my heart as my dead father reached for me, pulling at the lavender silk of my dress. My favorite uncle winked at me from several feet away, holding out his hands as he used to do at wedding receptions when he wanted me to dance with him. My Grandmother clucked her disapproval as I burst into tears and pushed my father’s hands away. “I’m sorry Daddy.” I whispered, desperately fighting the urge to give-in to my lost family. My head swirled. The room faded.

I pulled away, pushing hands from my shoulders and arms,” I’ve got to find the kids!” I screamed shocking myself into action. As I ran away I could hear them calling my name and my heart ached for the memories, the love and history I shared with them and the realization that I couldn’t help them. Something bad was going to happen but it was too late for them. I could only hope to find my kids and grandkids and get them to safety before it was too late, if it wasn’t too late already.

Finally I spotted my oldest son. He was so handsome in his tux; it brought tears to my eyes. “Mom! I’m so glad to see you. I have this feeling…I can’t describe it, but we have to get the heck out of here.” “I know honey. Go find your brothers and I’ll get the kids.” He was gone before I finished the sentence. He would know what to do. I was shaking inside. The lights seemed to be dimming and brightening as I ran up the curving staircase. Even the marble beneath my feet seemed to want to slow me down as I ran down the massive hallway to the nursery suite. Somewhere during my flight I had kicked off my shoes. My bare feet made sweat prints on the shiny floor.

Slamming open the door, I saw immediately that my oldest granddaughter, Aurora, had gotten all of her cousins together, and was quietly but quickly getting other babies into the crib with the youngest of her kin. She pointed at the cribs legs, showing me that they had wheels. Aurora doesn’t speak much but she is very good at getting her message across. Pride filled my heart as I gave her a quick hug and grabbed all the diapers, diaper bags and other baby supplies I could see, throwing them into the crib with the kids.

The other babysitter sat quietly in a rocking chair as if nothing was happening at all. Aurora simply shrugged her shoulders and finished getting the babies into the crib. The older kids trailed behind us as we pushed the crib out of the room and to the elevator door. I was amazed at how cooperative they were. A few of them were sniffing back tears, but mostly they just held hands and followed our lead.

It took forever for the door to open and for all of us to get into the plush elevator and another eternity for it to go down to the first floor and open again. My sons and their wives would be waiting at the exit, but we still had to get past the ball room.

My beloved oldest brother was there at the entrance to the ballroom as well as my grandmother and grandfather, begging me to join their party. Tears filled my eyes and flowed down my cheeks as longing overwhelmed my heart. I wanted to be with them. I wanted so badly to join them and ignore the horrible things that were about to happen. I was suddenly so tired of the fight, so tired of medical problems and working so hard to make things better for everyone, tired of fighting getting old.

I didn’t realize that I had stopped until my Grandson, Arty pulled on my dress. “Gramma, the fires are coming. We gotta go now! You can be mad about getting old later.”  He gave me a rueful smile, his bright silver blue eyes full of empathy and that bit of wry humor I love so much.

I looked down into his crystal eyes and once more I realized how fortunate I was and how proud. These were such special kids. They had been through so much already. The world has gotten to be such a hard place. His look was enough to get me moving again. We pushed through the crowds ignoring their hands and voices that were trying to pull us in. Some of the babies and toddlers were crying now.

We finally reached the exit. I was exhausted, and my son, Adam took over pushing the crib. Christopher held the door opened and we all dashed across the parking lot to our van.

It was only then that I realized that my husband was missing. I had to find him. I had been so focused on the kids that I had forgotten that he didn’t have the same kind of sensitivity that we did. He wouldn’t even know that he was in danger. At that moment, I hated the prophecy more than I had ever hated anything. What good would it do me to have premonitions and sensitivities if it meant that I was blinded when it came to my husband. I loved him, but I couldn’t even feel his presence. I couldn’t even tell if he was in the building or not. Why didn’t I keep him close to me? I wanted to scream.

I turned around and ran back into the building and straight into the arms of my best friend that I haven’t seen in years. She was so very lovely in her gown with her long blond hair falling down around her shoulders. I met her eyes instantly and knew she would never let me pass. I didn’t even have the chance to speak before she was turning me around back towards the parking lot. “I’ll find him Shell.” She spoke softly but with authority that I couldn’t deny. “See to the kids.”

I had no choice but to obey her. My heart broke as I looked over my shoulder and saw her running back into danger. Would she get through to him? Could she find him and make him understand? I had never loved two people more than I loved these two and now I was supposed to walk away from them…and the rest of my elders. I stood rooted to the ground. It was too much. It was asking too much. I turned back to the building. Before I could take two steps, I felt my son’s arms around me. Alex, my youngest with tears streaming down his face made me know that though he understood my pain, he would not let me go back. He hurried me to the van and practically lifted me in.

I watched out the window as we pulled out, watched as the beautiful building grew smaller behind us and finally disappeared around a bend. The roads were all familiar as we drove through the mountains to our safe place, but I didn’t see many of them through the tears streaming down my face. If it was possible for anyone, Jana would bring my husband safely to me, but that was no guarantee. I couldn’t know for sure if I would ever see either one of them again.

The cave was as we had left it. It was well prepared for the emergency. We got everyone inside just as the first flaming meteorite fell smashing into the van. The children were unusually quiet as they stared out the entrance of the cave. The adults held hands and huddled close together as if their closeness would keep out the horror that was happening in the city we had just abandoned. I just prayed for my husband and my best friend, longing for their safety, and the comfort of their arms around me.

I woke up sobbing into my pillow and longing to bring all of my children and their children together in safety, and wondering where my friend really was. My husband rolled over and reached out for me and held me in his arms. He went back to sleep, but I just lay there looking at the sky outside the bedroom window, wondering just how much time we had left.