Poem -
There, I washed my hair for a start
Something in my gut,
Prime my stomachÂ
For a bottle of red.
Then crawl into the shower,
Wash my hair.
Â
We'll marry, live in the BahamasÂ
Where I'll write my poetryÂ
And make no money.
I'll give you two bambinos.
Â
We'll be happy.
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Comments
Hair washed
The length you have gone to with this is quite remarkable, I love the emotion its so raw almost a plea, and the stuff that you are offering, any lady would be lucky, I love your last lines Rory, they are from your heart, as is every line. Some may not know what Bambino means here in Italy it means boy which also could mean son as you have used it here, Kudos my friend. 🌹Â
You always have the right words.
Makes me wonder, are the words thought through or is it intuitive?
A plea sounds right about to me, just another silly Diddy, on my account.Â
We can all but fantasise, can we not.
I really never understood why fantasise seemed tabu?
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Initiative and thought through. I like you have, a genuine heart and love for words. I don't read anyone's poems without leaving my positive thoughts why wouldn't anyone?Â
In a poetry term I find this powerful and raw because you have shown yourself inside and out. 🌹Â
I understand you're generous with your words but the insight comes across to me off handed, if that's the right team. Worldly of maybe we'll read.
I'm just a modest mouse whose goal is to move past embarrassment and shame. Those are the interesting things. This hurts me and I'm going to tell you why. Lol now I'm crapping on. Thanks for readingÂ
These short sharp lines make this write in my humble. The idle dreams. The mind wanders in bed, in the shower. The last 4 lines have no connection with the first lines... almost an afterthought... and that's what I really like about this x