Poem -
A FALLING OPTIMIST
To fly like I did as a youth
Soar enthusiasticly and fresh
Cool cat fashions with a baseball cap
Smooth silky skin and a fab haircut
Back in the day I flew straight up
Not a care in the world I was hot stuff
Now I'm tired and falling like a stone
Through an adult life of troubled times
Unshaven with waxed matted hair
Retro shorts and internet shirt
Now coming to terms with getting old
In my bulbous body slower and cold
But I will make the most of it
For optimistically I will think:
To fly again but not quite as high
Through the rest of my life
Is possible.
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Comments
WOW!! AARON!!.......I REALLY like the continuity of thought that moves this piece forward......the overlapping comparisons......the TRUTH within those comparisons.........to REALLY look at yourself in the mirror of honest reflection is most difficult....... this is a VERY powerful piece of poetic self examination.......and in taking that step you have created a fine piece of poetry.....the rhyme scheme so subtle in its delivery....as though it were a struggle for you to let go.....to see and feel the truth at its core.......and you have done the extraordinary here......you have been completely honest with yourself and your readers.....that relinquishing of self-control....of laying down your autonomous crown .....is not only kindness....but extremely rare, compelling, and quite beautiful.....I wish you well in going forward!!....As a poem .....this deserves more than the allotted 5 Stars.......It is excellence......it is a fine example of the heights to which words can lift the soul....to soar ~
~ "Cool cat fashions..." ~
~ "Fab haircut....." ~
~ "I was hot stuff..." ~
~ "To fly again....
~ "In my bulbous body...
~ "But not quite as high...
~ "Is possible...
STUNNINGLY BEAUTIFUL dear poet brother!!......I think MANY would relate!!......ALL STARS & PINNED!!.......well done!!......LOVE & ROCKETS!!........T xo : )
Tony
Thankyou so much for your detailed and analytical review of my verse. I am both honoured and totally thankful you have taken the time to pen this fab review.
Cheers Aaron