A Grain In The Sand

I don't know what to say
I run to my writing while running away 

I sense that it's bad this time no coming back 
So I'm packing my bags and fading to black 

My life was a life of depression and anger
Reckless decisions that put me in danger 

More oft than not I cared not for myself 
To this very day I grow weary in health 

To those who would tell me I always look blue 
To those that would tell me to speak what is true 
A Japanese saying to give you a clue..goes

"Saru mo ki kara ochiru" (Even monkeys fall from trees)

Always so blind to what's right in my face 
Always complacent forgetting my place 
Always so lost like I'm drifting through space 

And it only goes downhill from there 

See I drift through some hellfire with hardly a care 
Alone in a world that seems grossly unfair 
People just look and they stop and they stare 
Step outside of myself when I feel I need air 

And still I get judged for being myself 
Nobody quite understands 
I need to catch up to everyone else 
Always behind in my plans 

I'm getting too old to be struggling sober 
So I'm lighting this blunt till my worries are over 

And maybe my next life will be something grand 
And my wishes won't be just a grain in the sand