A PERMANENT ABYSMAL BLUE

There are frayed wires and misconstrued enigmas here! 
It is an environment devoid of my participation; 
I know not what passes and what stays.  
Yet, I live in vibrant colors which bleed  
Into my dead-eye and congeal to black. 
I’m ajar and drifting in empty air; 
There is nothing of me but static. 
Not one piece of earth remembers 
My footsteps; space has no memory! 
I am apostate from life, a beast of solitude. 
The answers I seek are never where I look! 
 
I smell a tang of red!  No, that can’t be! 
Blood:  the smell of rust on a penny! 
A blight in the air...uprooted and pressed out 
Of sanguine thoughts and my essence. 
I am clawing at my sanity...tearing it apart; 
Visions disguised as logic made senseless! 
I find only alienation, my desires untenable. 
My brain feels so soft and light...almost empty. 
This is a chronic folly, a permanent abysmal blue. 
 
I don’t remember how I left or when, where or why. 
But I am gone and know that I have lost more 
Then I could ever reclaim or restore. 
I am a population of one somewhere  
Between stagnation and nothing.