Abused and In Love

As she lays here with cigarette smoke rolling,
She thinks maybe my heart is just trolling.
I miss him,
With out you my life is dim.
You put a smile on my face,
I prepare myself to put my feelings in a brace.
I can’t hear anything good,
Maybe I’m just mis-understood.
This hasn’t been easy,
My breathing is wheezy.
I lay here crying,
My mind denying. 
I know what I feel,
I hear my thoughts squeal. 
I know I’m going to mess up,
Vodka feels my cup.
I try to remain calm,
But I’m a ticking time bomb.
I told you it’s was going to be hard,
My heart is charred.
The demons in me,
Screaming their plea.
My soul in a constant ache,
As my body falls into a complete shake. 
I wonder if I’m to fucked,
As my happiness is plucked.
I can’t find a lighter,
Maybe I’m too much of a fighter.
I’m impossible to love,
As the sadness takes a shove.
I feel my mind crash,
Maybe I’m just trash.
I’m scared,
My thoughts are flared.
I’m a wreck,
My lips aching for a peck.
Your so far,
I race my car.
I wake up to realize,
I’ve been filled with lies. 
Her abuser made her believe, 
Everyone is gonna leave.
Her heart in a tumble,
Maybe love is just a fumble.
He hit her,
Everything is a blur.
She found someone new,
As the time flew.
She knows she’s a mess,
The thoughts of a wedding dress.
Her mind fades,
Shes full of grenades.
He guards a nuke,
She feels her life is a fluke.
She won’t give in,
She gives a grin.
She says she’s fine,
But is he really mine.
She knows it’s a matter of time,
Before she is worth nothing more than a dime.
She drifts to sleep,
As her eyes weep. 
My bones are weak,
I feel his kiss on my cheek.
She calls,
But time falls.
She wakes from that nightmare,
As she gasps for air.
Everything will be okay, 
This is just a delay.
Soon he will be home,
His love is a dome.
It’s casted a spell,
As he let her fail.
She is strong,
She wants to hit a bong.
She takes a few last looks,
Before she makes the books.
She’s gone now,
They wonder how.
The things of life have killed, 
He is her Gild.
Her love isn’t enough,
It’s okay she beyond tough.