afraid of the dark

I'm scared of slipping back
into the depression I once felt
I'm terrified of returning 
to deal with the anxiety and guilt

it was a difficult pit to escape
without much to grasp onto at all
scared at any moment
I would let go, slip and fall

waking every morning
wondering how to carry on
At war with my conscience
And the guilt I'd caused when I had gone

like a prison camp
when I finally managed to get out
the feeling of elation
left me in no doubt

that the battle with Parkinson's
is faught, won or lost
in the recessed of your mind
and at a heavy cost

I have come full circle
once more afraid of the dark
but unlike my childhood
there no escaping to the park