"Again The Answer You Give"

So many times I think,..
Why me? Again why??

I'd sink,..
Even when I'd try to swim,..

Again, I think, why?
Why me? Again why??

So many circles,..
So many lies,..

I'd fail to stand,..
Every time I'd try,..

Sinking,..
Thinking lone,.. 
In this quicksand home,..

Again why??
Why?..
Can't I get it right,..

Even when I'd spread my wings,..
I'd even fail to fly,..

Every time I'd ask,..
I'd fall to the same answer,..

I'd fall to my knees,..
Breaking down,..
Begging, forgive me Lord please!

Without you I'd fall still,..
Sitting back in my mind,..
Shoved behind my wall,..

Still you love me,..
'nd answer when I call,..

Still you pick me up,..
When even, I'd continue to fall,..

Loving me! Unconditionally,..
With me,..
As I cry all night long,..

Tears filling my eyes!
My mind full of doubt,..

Still there when,..
I put the gun into my mouth,..

You flooded me,..
 With memories,..

Reminded me of my blessings,..
That you have chose,..
And that you planned out,..

Stuck in my selfish way of thinking,..
Yet you love me,..
And keep me from brinking,..

Even still, I'd continue drinking,..

Even still,..
Continued my selfish thinking,..

Yet still by my side,..
As I'd continue,..
My suicidal thinking,..

Cuts filled my arm to top,..
Blood flowed,..
And seemed to never stop,..

Still beside me,..
As my mind,..
Seemed to never drop,..

Again why??.. Why me?..
What do you see,..
That I couldn't possibly,..

Still there to remind me,..
You will love me,..
Unconditionally,..

Still here by my side,..
No matter what,.. 
I could never hide,..

For you are the one,..
Who gave me,..
Your breath of life,..

For you are the one,..
I must give,..
All of my time,..

For you Lord Jesus,..
You came,..
To save my life!..

Even when I'd try to end it,..
Yes,..
Way more than just twice,..

Yet you still loved me,..
As I'd sit,..
'nd roll my dice,..

Living on edge,..
Broken to vice,..

How many times,..
Will I jump upon this ride?..

How many times,..
Will I victim,..
To the devils lies?..

Until I finally see,..
God,.. 
You never left my life,..

Until I see,..
God,..
You are always on my side!..

So many days I'd wish death,..

Yet so many ways,..
You would say,..
"Son not yet!",..

So many ways,..
I'd try to send me to my grave,..

Yet so many times,..
You would say,..
"Son it is not your day!",..

I would question every moment,..

Again why?? Why me??..
What is it that you see,..
That I couldn't possibly?..

Why pick me up,..
When I chose to fall back down,..
Lost in myself,..

Till you pick me up,..
And tell me,..
"Son, you, I have found!",..

You leave the ninety and eight,..
'nd rejoice,..
When you have found,..
This lost one,..

You have called me back,..
So many times from the grave,..

With all of my sins,..
Yet you still wash 'em away,..

Fall,..
I,..
Down,..
NO MORE!..

For you are my God,..
'nd Jesus you are my Lord,..

By grace you have saved me,..
With faith,..
There is a change in me,..

So I give myself to you!..

So I may live,..
The way you destined me,..

So I can see,..
What it is you see in me,..

So I can be,..
All,..
You have made me to be,..

So I can breathe for you,..
And proceed,..
In the death,..
Of the flesh of me,..

There was a reason I needed to die,..
So you can live this life in me,..

Thank you Lord Jesus!!

Written by:

Mark Anthony Gonzalez 
Aka: Gonzo Gonzalez