Alice and Me

When I was a little girl

I was scared of the dark

Dreams were filled with Disney villains

The heroines visited in office hours

There was the beast but no beauty

Poison apples and evil queens

But the seven dwarfs were absentees

When I was a little girl

I tossed and turned at night

Sleep did not come easy

Restless and edgy

Of the shadows

That reflected cheekily

Against the surrounding lights

They teased and taunted me

And I would rock my head

Trying to shake my fear

My pillow squeaked against the bed

Side to side and back and forth

Like a repetitive ocean tide

Rolling in the whitewash

Over and over again

My night-time battles would quickly pass

After a lit bit of swaying

My eyes grew tired and I became

A victim of the dark

It swallowed me like quicksand

And I would fall deeply into dreams

They clutched me tightly

Like the teddies I clung to

As clear as reality

My very own wonderland

Alice, was played by me

But the white rabbit

Led me down the hole of betrayal

Wonderland vanished

A terror in its trail

It was like experiencing that cold shock

When you first jump in the water

My dreams were the outside warmth

Quickly shattered by panic

Freezing nightmares

Drowning in my own ocean of terror

A monster under the bed

Lurking like a shark

He woke me every night

At first

An instinctive fright

Then baffle and confusion

And finally relief

At a familiar sight

My dread of the dark

Would outgrow me with age

But for my rocking head

The same could not be said

Like a fidgety student

On a Friday afternoon

It could not be settled  

A problem for all

When I woke up

With a birds-nest perched

Upon my head

Mornings these days are more of a guilty pleasure

Eggs and bacon sometimes, pancakes are even better

I treasure the sun at first light

The cool crisp fog rolling in

And the wet dew

Broken into glassy fragments

The garden sparkles

Like its own crystal gallery

Until an overpowering warmth

Melts every ice carved figurine

But when I was a little girl

Mornings were cringe worthy

For my tossing and turning at night

Did simply not agree with

the comb, my mother or me

My night-time acrobatics

Saw my hair perform flips

And Olympic gymnastic quality twists

But my performance never really

Was a huge hit

My mother like the judges

Would calmly observe,

Arms crossed, very tight lips

I would wake up looking like Annie the orphan

Prior to her adoption with the wealthy Mr Warbucks

And whilst I am an Annie myself

My parents never warmed to my orphan look

My hair was like a unkept garden

matted in ivy and weeds

Knotted and kinked

Tousled and tangled

A nightmare by day for mother

Who had the job of untwining

my rumpled, messy twirls

The birds-nest was the cause of

ongoing morning stress

When the little hand hit 8

My makeover would begin

The pj’s and slippers left

Forgotten on the floor

Petty dresses and bows in their place

For one must always look their best

Yet to overcome my orphan image

A new form of evil is privileged

Hungry and searching

For MY blonde locks

This type of monster

Preys on all little girls

You must to scramble away

At a lighting fast pace

For it chases you around the house

It is the king of the food chain

The alpha male of its race

Like T-Rex stomping over a city

With its ginormous feet

And claws so big

It has speed on its side

Fuelled by power

And overwhelming in size

Of course it was my mother

And she is not so bad

The exception to the rule however

Is when the hairbrush is in her hand

Frustrated and late

Never any pity

Her shadow looms over me

Domineering

Sending my knees into

An uncontrollable trembling

Reaching down

Holding me firmly

She inflicts torture

Hacking away

Like my knots are wild blackberries

Using her axe she continues

Until satisfied

Me on the other hand

Relieved when the procedure is complete

And in awe that I survived

Waking up with strands of hair

Wild like tiny branches

Entangled between the tree

Would no longer work for my mother

Or for me

An intervention was needed

But sleepy teas and bedtime stories

Could never tire me

Late nights cuddling dad on the couch

Could only soothe me for a while

Once in bed

My own inner monster came out to play

Smirking and chuckling, an untrustworthy smile

Back and forth my head would rock

And cure me from my fears

The darkness and the Disney villains

Always disappeared

A steady motion

Swaying me to peaceful dreams

Until morning where we would repeat

That awful, dreaded routine

The lady in Myer had the key

She was up on the home wares floor

I think it was level three

She was my mother's new idol

A Greek god like figure or

An Olympic class athlete

Adored for many years onward

The kind of way I felt about

Winnie the Poo and Tigger

She presented my mother

With one small token

That would save me

From the chainsaw comb

That every morning would saw away

The branches off my wild hair tree

A silk pillowcase

Yes silk you see

It's soft on the hair

Unlike cotton or polyester

It would be delicate you see

Isn't it so luxurious?

Plush and glossy you see

My mother walked out of Myer

A new woman after that day

For the pale pink and purple pillowcases

Would save her hours of deforestation

On my forest of fair blonde trees

Now the mornings before work

We're filled with a happy little girl

Vegemite toast and apple juice

No longer wrestling with

My knotted branches

As I was now an older girl

And heading off to school

I felt very special

For I was worry free

Of all potential dangers including

The monsters that might inhabit

Areas like wardrobes or space under my bed

That in turn would

Prompt my swaying crazy head

And as I strutted about the playground

Like a pompous politician

Approaching a press conference

With information so shocking

With a new political agenda

That would create media frenzy

And rocket my numbers in the polls

Proudly I stood before my fellow preps

And shared with them my story

Like an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting

They listened carefully

With concern and understanding

Considering that facts

And spotting the similarities between our addictions

I changed the lives of many that day

I was the new Martin Luther King

I showed my peers that I had a dream

A dream to dream without fears

Because in actual fact there were

NO monsters that lived under our beds

And NO reason to be afraid

Like we had been for countless years

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