An eating disorder tale

I'm not fat or thin I guess I'm in between.

But my head tells a story or child abuse and wanting to be loved.

They told me I was fat they told me I was ugly.

I believed every word they said I went through life hanging on to every word .

All the hope I had inside was gone I stopped eating I craved to be thin .

No one ever understands me only the toilet after putting my fingers down my throat to get rid of all the food hours on end sitting there in silence tears running down my cheeks.

Wanting to be free wanting to get rid of your persepsion of me .

The only way I can cope another box of empty laxtive hidden in my drawer I beat you once before.

But now your back with vengeance wanting to be thin wanting to be loved it's the only thing in my life I can control .

My endless routine and rituals I do I wish I could create a perfect place for me to hide so no one would ever know how much I cry to be free .

The end