Anti-Terrorist Paranoia Blues (WARNING SOME MAY FIND THIS OFFENSIVE)

I saw it broadcast on TV screens
All about those terrorist machines
Searched through Trafalgar Square
Looked through my armpit hair
Investigated myself, I declare
Couldn’t find a terrorist anywhere

Heard my mailbox take a swing
Jumped out the window with my shotgun
Pointed it squarely at a terrorist
Declared to him that he should run
I couldn’t see him clearly through a haze
There was way too much fog
It turned out it was the mailman!
The next day he murdered my dog

Crawled under the covers, got a fright
There was some terrorist sleeping there
I pulled out my shotgun from under the bed
Announced that she should say a prayer
Her features became all too clear to me
She demanded, ‘What’s this all about?’
It turned out it was my lover!
In the moment, she punched me out!

Got slung out to sleep in the dirt
When a stranger came in my direction
I put my fist up towards the terrorist
Stated that the woman was under inspection
I got on my iPhone and called the cops
The terrorist, she cowered on the floor
It turned out it was my neighbour!
A week later, she took back her lawnmower!

Followed a man down to Downing Street
Watched him try to get in the black door
And I done my duty by the terrorist
Acknowledged it had all happened before
He tried talking it out with his hands
And asked me to go on the working stage
It turned out he was a terrorist!
The following year he took away my minimum wage!

I was thrown down in thee ghetto
When a twitchy man swung his elbow
I introduced myself to the terrorist
To Guantanamo Bay you must go’
He didn’t look too happy about it
I’ll tell you that I must concur
It turned out to be Elvis!
At midnight he bought me a hamburger!

Followed a black suited man home
He lived in a great big white dome
Commanded the terrorist’s hands up
Don’t you know your position don’t make you prone?
He tried to get me to take hydroxychloroquine there
Displayed to me a gruesome stare
It turned out he was a terrorist!
On Independence Day, he took away my healthcare!

Got directed home to my home
Saw a man to me who was unknown
He stuck a shotgun out the mirror at me
And I let out an almighty groan
Yeah but I looked a lot like him, see
 When I pleaded, ‘Please, please let me be free.’
But I guess all them terrorists look the same
It turned out he thought I was a terrorist!
I wouldn’t have minded but he didn’t even ask me my name!