Poem -

As My World Changes...

As My World Changes...

In a classroom,
Hiding myself with my hair,
They know I'm pregnant,
I can feel their judging stares,
Am I ready to be a mother?
15 yr old teenager, just like another,
"Sleeping around" 
"Unprotected sex" 
"Doing it with every boy that moves" 
Being called nasty names,
I'm trying to listen to the teacher,
The kids in class, being the preacher!
Getting my hair pulled, 
Blutak and gum, getting thrown,
I'm just a child... 
I'll get it out when I go home,
Are these tears worth a baby? 
Me, a mother? 
This is just crazy!
I was holding back for love for so long, or so I thought,
The first time, uneducated, I got bloody caught!
I'm not what the other kids think,
I don't stand on street corners and drink,
I don't do drugs, I'm not lonely on the brink,
One time,
One time!
That's all it took!
Now they're all shouting, I'm up the duff! 
I'm in a terrible state!
I can't even tell my parents,
I'm tired of this pain,
I don't know if they'll be caring,
I tried to tell my mam last night,
But I couldn't speak, I just kept staring,
I need to tell her soon, before the bump starts to show,
I can't get rid of it, I want to see my little baby grow, 
I'm shaking with fear, why didn't I just say no?! 
I should've listened to myself,
Instead of going through hell,
Now my boyfriend has left,
He's not ready to be a father! 
I'm supposed to live life, like a woman,
But here I am in science class, a little girl,
I'm supposed to live life, like a mother,
But here I am, in this big, scary, new world, 
After school, I'm going to tell my mam, 
Maybe her love for me, will give me a plan,
I feel lost! 
I feel ashamed!
Supposed to feel loved,
But this is far from the truth,
Maybe when I give birth,
Maybe when it walks this earth,
When I hear it's little feet pitter patter, 
Only then,
I will become a woman,
Only then,
I will become a mother,

As my world changes,
As I feel this angel,
I will become,
I hope,
I will become...

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