Beginning of the End

Is this the beginning?
The beginning of the eggshells cracking as we walk, with the intent of dodging the trip wire.
The beginning of our fake smiles, attempting to show our children that we are happy.
The beginning of the end of desiring the "forgive me" kiss, the "I will protect you" hug.
The beginning to the comfortable feeling of being in bed alone, instead of lonely.
The ending to the "just fight for me" arguments.
The "I have feelings" dispute.
Is this the beginning of the end.
Saying goodbye to our 5 years.
No force of commitment. No force of emotional expression. I have no desire for sex. It's not what I want. Am I going to start to look for the emotion else where?
I love him, no second question. No studdered answer. Do you love him? Yes with all my heart and soul. Would you fight for him? Yes in a split second. Is he your forever? I want him to be. Now answer for him. Do you love her? Yah. Would you fight for her? Depends on the situation. Is she your forever? I don't believe in marriage.
The meaning behind the answers... once again no emotion. Empty words. I am your girlfriend. The mother to your children. The house keeper. Your cook. Your laundry lady. All I want is a boyfriend, a husband.
Do I foresee a future? I don't know. What I want, what I see, and what I desire are all different.
Is this the beginning of the processing of my decision? Is this the ending of this chapter? Our adventure was intense. Mom at 18, 19, and 21. House at 20 and 22.
Is this the beginning of the end to that high school started romance.