Beneath My Surface

I’m not your average being
I think more than a lot
Anxiety is part of me
And it controls my thoughts

What’s next?
The past....!
Calm down!
Too fast!!!

And then comes in depression
It always over-stays
And every time
It gets much worse
I’m left in bed for days

Just wait
There’s more
“Knock knock”
-The door?

I open up
I peak outside

Then panic comes on in
Another attack
So I turn back
And close the door again

It is so hard
Living life
Fighting war each day
Most of the time
It isn’t me
My illness takes the stage

This isn’t just a poem
It’s my mind I try to fight
Depression and panic through the day
And terrors in the night

I hate it
I’d trade it
I’d give anything if this

Could change the ones that doubt it
And help those with mental illness