BIONIC BERTY

" Ello Doc me old son "

" Hello Berty lad! take a seat!

What can I do for you today? "

" Well ya see Doc... it`s me old bones Sir!! "

" Oh?!... righty ho...

I`d better have a feel, if I may?

Where would you like me to start?! "

" Well...!! it`s the same old story Doc!

It`s the old back passage part! "

" Well... me old lad!

I can`t seem to find the cause!

So I`m recommending a nice big bottle of my magic potion!! "

" Okey dokey son!

I`ll try it again!  it always used to get things in motion! "

" Surely Berty me old chap, at the age of 92!!

You can`t expect to be bionic!!

Even with that new pacemaker!

And a new hip! x two!

A new zimmer frame with a horn! and a bath stool that matches!!

And don`t forget those new contact lenses in that new electric blue!!

Now then Berty me old chap!

Pardon? what did you just say??..!! NEW LEGS!...?!!!

Oh no.. no..no...!!

Especially not the sporty kind that you like!!

They`re rather a bit out of your range!!

Oh bejesus!!.... they can come at quite a price!!

I`ll tell you what me old pal! I`m going to send you on home with a prescription!!

Have a nice couple of pints on me, lad!!

How does that sound?? "

" Oooooh thank ya lad!! That sounds just about right!! "