Birth Name

Birth name, birth name,
It'll always be the same
Feeling torn down and beat up
Over some stupid name
I wish you could see
What this does to me..
The terrible thoughts that go through my mind
And all the sleepless nights..
It brings me to dysphoric tears,
But its no different than the other years.
I'm unhappy with my body
Can't you see?
That one word will never make me happy.
Yeah, I know others hate their name too,
But for me it's worse than you think.
I tear myself up, mentally and physically and I'm sorry
My mind is such a toxic place
All because my body and name.
The pronouns too.
Do I look like a she/her to you?
I bet you said yes,
To bad, the answer should have been no.
I get up every morning searching for androgynous clothes
Just to be disappointed and fall into a deep and depressing hole.
I stay up most nights,
Battling my own mind in the never ending fights.
I'd feel better if you'd call me by my name
But you think what's more important is the birth name you gave
And it causes me so much pain..