The Bleak Yet Beautiful Threshold of Insanity

Sometimes I ponder on the past
Craving the darkness
Glorifying it
Missing the warm numbness of the place
No pain. Just nothing
Drugs were the conduit to get to this place
It was another place in which I could look at the world through clouded eyes
Through this clouded state of mind I couldn't recognize my problems
Therefore they didn't exist
Although the darkness cradled my mind
I was like a tornado to the world
Ruining everything and everybody close to me
So although I crave that insidious numbness
I must remember that dark, lonely place it took me
Where there were no friends, no family, no love, no happiness, and mental and physical deterioration
So for now I'll stay in this place
Where even though there is pain, there is also beauty and serenity
Insanity may seem beautiful but it is deceitful, and in reality, is bleak