boulder in your stomach

I'm gasping for air,
Clenching my fists,
My teeth are grinded down,
I'm yelling and screaming and tearing at the world but it doesn't hear me-
it doesn't rage back like I want it too

I jump into a pool expecting a ripple effect, a magnitude of change to spread around me as my movements get heavier. 

But when I fall there are no perfect circles orbiting around me

I'm left debating if the Galaxys, the stars, & even the moons are even real,
Since basics of science can't even explain how I feel.