But how do you know when?

He doesn’t even try to wake when I say it’s over. 
That’s how I know that the man I have been with for ten years is out of love with me.
Even though I am still in love, I cannot hold on to someone who won’t, who won’t wake up when I say it’s over, who won’t open his eyes when we make love.

I dreamt about you last night and in that dream you left me.
You left me in tears in a puddle on the floor.
I will not be left on the floor.
I will not let you take my best years.

But how do I leave?
How do I say enough? 
Enough sadness.
Enough bickering. 
Enough resentment.
Enough hiding behind earth shattering tiredness. 

It wasn’t always this hard.
You made time for us.
I made time for us. 
We saw similarities in our differences, we hugged and laughed without having to pretend, without having to look the other way. 
For the baby.
For the world. 
For our families

And in the end we only pretended to our selves.

I thought we would last forever. 

Is that why you wouldn’t marry me?
 
You popped the question, only because I wanted you to, you did, I know you did.

But How?
How do you know?
But how do you know when?
When to say goodbye to the man you love?