Can you feel this heat

Can you feel this heat?
I'm smoldering beneath the ashes..
I feel so naked,still.
Cradling the misgiving and mistakes, I fear this is the cycle of insanity.
Free the chains and lift me from this water, so suffocating and debasing.

I want purged of my past, it is festering within me.
My body is a cell, my mind is the prisoner.
If I cared less, felt less, would I be less broken in the end?
Every calculated move,and yet I still don't add up in my mind.

Oh, these insecurities could eat me alive.
Instead, they rip and tear at my peace of mind, leaving me with only a frayed thread to dangle from.
How I unravel so perfectly and haphazardly.
I fear my need might just burn us down.
yet I feed the fire, I poke and I prod. I push and I doubt.