Career Planning

Surveyor? No training;

Bricklayer? It’s raining!

A bailsman? No money;

A salesman? That’s funny!

(You’ve got to be cheerful –

Put up with an earful).

Physician? Too stupid;

Musician? A cupid

For gin-swilling patrons

Of nightclubs, or matrons

With dance cards? How awful!

A gambler? Unlawful.

Firefighter? Too risky –

I’d soon take to whiskey.

Policeman? A copper?

It wouldn’t be proper –

I won’t wear a hat

And my feet are not flat.

Attorney? How dumb

To wish to become

Something everyone loathes!

And I don’t have the clothes.

Ballplayer? No talent;

Soothsayer? Too gallant

For con games and swindles

(Though you could make bindles!)

A pilot? Get dizzy;

A switchboard? Too busy!

Mortician? Too squeamish;

A hermit? Extremish!

(Though think what you’d save

If you lived in a cave!)

A cowboy? Hate horses!

The answer, of course, is

That nothing’s as fitting

As simply just sitting

At home in my chair –

It’s quite comfortable there.

It’s not too demanding –

It’s better than standing!

Though it doesn’t pay great,

I don’t have to stay late

Or discuss with my boss

Things like profit and loss.

I can wear what I want,

And I don’t have to grunt.

Now and then I can snooze;

So, if I have to choose –

Settle on a career –

I believe I’ll stay here.