Chained up World

As I rest my bleeding wrists into the unforgiving waves of the pacific
I wonder if this shall be a slow and merciful end
Or a quick and fearful one
Do I have that choice?
Can something be that haunting that you choose to end what is existing 
Instead of moving forward with this ghost of the past that follows you around until the end of time. 
What a time to ponder, as you feel your body becoming drained from all the resources it's spent a lifetime to store. 
A tired mind is a restless mind
A restless mind is a unforgiving mind.
An unforgiving mind needs it's peace. 
A peaceful mind is bliss. 
For you don't have to worry about the disappointments or all the wrong doings that have happened in the past. 
You no longer have to be the strong one. 
Instead you can finally embrace yourself with all the tears that you have been so afraid to show. 
It's quite now. Even with the waves buckling down on the rocks. There's a sense of peace. 
A sense of eternity will rest here. Peacefully. 
Let me rest my eyes and see where my final dreams will take me.  
I rest my eyes and still no peace. 
Why is this so difficult to achieve?
How can I be this tired, but yet so awake. 
Is there something I'm forgetting?
Is there something that is keeping me from an eternal sleep?
Why is it that moving forward, can be like a slow moving train, that is going up merciless hill. 
You just keep climbing, waiting for the drop at the end, where you hope that once you've reached the top you've known that you made it. You know that every slow climb, every ounce of your strength has finally came to the point where you can just relax and enjoy the ride. Instead of thinking about giving up midway, because you no longer have that hope, that drive, that sense of being important enough to reach the top. Let me receive the strength even though the pain is unimaginable. It's like knives stabbing you in all directions. You keep trying to dodge them, and at times you can, but eventually they outsmart your techniques then drive themselves deeper. They drive themselves so deep that you are scarred for life, some even stay with you until the day you no longer exist in this dying world. 
A world where the ones who are important and who would make a dramatic change for the good are dying out. And the ones who are careless, selfless, unforgiving, and filled with hate, are the ones our children are forced to look up to. 
Everywhere is corrupt, and minds are being poisoned. What is right, is considered a weakness. What is wrong is considered a flaw. Having justice, always comes with a price. A price that everyone is afraid to pay. More and more people turn their heads and close their eyes, when people are dying, and suffering. No eyes should ever be closed, no mouths should ever be shut to all the injustice in this world. We need to stand up with our fists closed, ready for a battle that we may or may not win. Why are we standing by, watching our children, our future be poisoned by this so called society. This society that is forcing us to shut up, close our eyes and walk away, mean while everything that our ancestors worked so hard to build is being destroyed, almost erased right in front of us. How can we fix this? How can we make them see, all the destruction that surrounds us. How do we turn the blind into the ones who see? How do we open the mouths that have forgotten how to speak? How do we make the good overcome the evil, that has spilled all over this world. How do we make this world, what it was truly to be created for? I finally see the sun peaking through the darkness of the what seemed like an eternal night. I get back up, mind still in a fog, dizzy and nauseous, but still alive. I look down at my bleeding wrists which have seemed to of healed from the now forgiving ocean. I start to walk on the quicksand from the beach, and fall. Everything is spinning, my head is banging at every beat of my heart. I want to rest my eyes and clear my mind of all it's thoughts. The pain is too much. Please let my mind be at peace, or give me the strength to endure this pain, get up, and allow me to use this pain to give me the strength to move forward and to be the person who can make a difference. Show me how to embrace the challenge that is in front of me. Why is my eyes opened, but my mouth stays shut? Why am I too afraid of all the repercussions that will come for standing up to what I believe in. Maybe a sacrifice is what is needed to make the change. Before everyone becomes a soulless robot, in a chained up world. 
By: Misty Montagna