Change

Its scary how fast somethings can change.
One moment I was sitting next to you by the oceanside, listentinng to Loving is easy, the next momment sheer panic attacks  us like the riptide.
The lyrics ringing in my head, loving is easy you had me fucked up, as we ran away.
The 3 minutes and 38 seconds this song played, felt like eternity.
12:58 am. Sirens. tears. Panic.
You asked me if I was okay,
I buried myself in your chest,
begging for your protection.
Begging for you to stay, but not saying it.
Still telling myself I don't care.
Telling myself its okay if i cant have you.
I cant stand the thought of sharing you with someone else.
When will it stop?
When will this feeling stop?
The feeling of not being good enough,
the feeling of not giving yourself a chance to even try because you fear someone better will show up.
The feeling of being attached to someone you mean nothing to.
The feeling of loving someone you cannot have.
I guess girls really do want what they can't have.
- Jana Salehi