Child's Choices.

This is how I feel today.
Lost, alone, my mind miles away.
Although I try not to cry.
Fear has caught me and why?
Is this the end or beginning.
I surely pray we are winning.
Sometimes unwanted thoughts cross your mind.
Wishing not to see, be blind.
I'm unable to stop the tears.
I've been like this for years.
Doubting myself, my mind goes asunder.
This causes everyone else to wonder.
Was I such a terrible child?
Growing up I ponder, was wild.
Does the past determine your now?
Raising your children and wondering how!
How after 3, such a plight.
With my youngest, we always fight.
Today I will fight for him.
Due to silliness, on a whim.
The bad choices that he made.
My imagery slowly begins to fade.
A happy family, full of love.
As time requires for my behove.
Is there going to be reprieve?
Do I know for certain he'll apperceive?
Although past does not define you.
In relation, there's much to do.
Learn from what has been done.
Don't get up and try to run.
Have I failed you? seeking knowledge!
You must be clear and acknowledge.
That what was done, a mistake.
Won't be repeated at any stake.