coals

each time you told me you loved me 
i swallowed a hot coal
they burrowed like the times you got drunk and touched me 
but now they’re burning the walls of my organs
i wake up and brush the charcoal out of my gums
cough out charred embers in the shape of your hands
i am slowly trying to put myself back together
but the heat that once warmed my finger tips like summer rain grazing the sea 
flooded my lungs with salt water
my body is spoiled wood and dirty seafoam
the wreckage no one wants to pick up the morning after the storm
no one wants to touch me

no one wants to touch me
anymore
you are running wildfire 
searing my insides 
the smell of burning flesh naked skin against sweaty summer asphalt 
igniting things i thought i had forgotten
my body forced against floral bathroom wallpapers
legs paralyzed to the taste of

american spirits and old wine 

your smoke rises from my skin like steam
rotting fingernails pop and peel like midnight clementines
im waiting for it to burn out
the heat of our heartbeats passing between our mouths
but until then I’ll fall asleep crushing the kindled embers
against my back teeth 
swallow and
pray i don’t choke